Souvenir [Complete]

Forty. Eyre

Michael and Calum spent practically every day together. Luke could hear Calum go over to Michael's house. Tonight they walked up the driveway together. Talking. Luke pictured them touching in some way. Calum's arm extended for Michael to hold. Calum's arm around Michael. Holding hands—though that's a stretch cause Luke couldn't imagine those two would like hand holding.

Sometimes—if his lights were already off—Luke would get up from his bed and watch them go inside. He was hoping to see a kiss, but most times all he would see is Calum's arm draped around Michael's shoulders and them laughing about something.

Tonight he was reading High Fidelity again, so he didn't get up to look out the window—for the risk that he'd be seen by his friends. Besides, he was with his comfort novel, in his softest baby blue sweater, and smelled like lavender and chamomile.

He'd spent the last week actively trying to be better. His night of wallowing had paid off because the next day he found that he wasn't sad anymore. Now that he knew how to move forward, he could.

He'd spent the week taking care of himself. He needed to nurture his interests, his mind. Get back to sleep, get back to being the calm and sweet Luke he knew he could be again. He wanted to be the Luke he hadn't realized he wasn't anymore

So that's what he became. He read up on the books that formed him—tonight just happened to be the one he loved with all his heart. The one he shared with Ashton.

Luke had determined pretty early on in the week that he wasn't mad at Ashton for leaving town with the kids. He was barely even sad. He was mainly sad because he wouldn't be involved in Ashton's attempt to be a more present care giver. He would have really liked to see this change—because he had thought Ashton was good before. But now that he was trying to get better? Well, Luke was sad that he had to miss it.

And, yeah, Luke was sad about the fact that he hadn't seen the kids in a week, he missed them. They were so sweet and soft and all the good parts of Ashton without any of the street hardness. He carried the burden so they wouldn't have to. It was still something Luke didn't understand, how those kids were so well adjusted with Ashton as a care giver.

Maybe he'd never know. Maybe he isn't supposed to know. But he admired it. Luke would be pretty messed up if he was dealt the same hand of cards all three of them were. Would Luke's older brothers have done the same with him?

Probably, but their lives would be entirely different now. And they wouldn't have met their wives or had their dogs or—.

A knock at Luke's window made him practically jump out of his skin. He realized he hadn't been listening to the outside in a while. He looked up to the window it came from, and in the darkness, he could see the silhouette and the vague shape of his features.

"Ashton!" Luke gasped and ran to open the window. The night air was chilly, he could see Ashton's breath. The only thing keeping him from believing he wasn't a ghost. "What are you doing here? I thought you were gone..."

"I took the kids to The Lakes for the week, gave them a nice little vacation," Ashton hummed, looking up at Luke through the window. "You look good."

"It's only been a week."

"You know what they say about distance."

Luke's heart sped up even more than the initial jolt of being scared. "Wanna come in?"

"I was hoping you'd ask." Ashton purred and climbed through the window. And while Ashton had snuck out a few times before, sneaking in felt exciting, it felt dangerous.