Halcyon

Part 23

He keeps me besides him shoving people out the way and making way for us. This isn't fair. I don't have a team, I don't know how to fight, I don't know the last thing about the ring, I didn't even train. The odds are not in my favour.

"Keep your hands up!" Kent is shouting over the noisy crowd, I turn to look at him. He has something in his hands and signals for me to open my mouth, I do and he plops a mouth guard in, I adjust it.

"Don't cry!" I nod. "Keep your hands up!" I nod. "Dodge!" Another nod. "Go on," he nods to the rings and I turn. I'm going to piss myself. I find myself looking for familiar eyes above me. He's already watching, drink in hand, amused.

"Keep your head in the ring!" I'm dragged back to the reality, I open my mouth to protest, to tell Kent I really can't but he shakes his head and tell me to get in. I do. I've watched it happen before, how the two opponents have to smack their gloves each other.

That's what we do. "You scared?" I meet the girls opposite me's eyes, they're ice blue. "You want me to go easy on you?" She's mocking me. The three dings sound like. Kill or die. Kill kill kill. Die die die.

I feel as if my legs have turned into jelly and my whole stomach is about just open up. She's blurring up and I blink a few time to see her again, she's laughing. "Don't cry." Just as she says that she attempts a swing at me, I jerk back just missing it.

Cotton fills my eyes and I have to repeat to myself the three rules Kent explained. Don't cry. Hands up. Dodge. Don't cry. Hands up. Dodge. She swings for me again and I dodge. "Come on! You're making this boring." She swings again exposing her side. I take it.

I don't know how, or why, but I land the hit and she sways a little before regaining her balance. "You bit-"

"I honestly-" she's already swinging at me, trying to land a punch. Before I even know what hit me my mouth guard is escaping my mouth and I nearly dislocate my head off my shoulders. My head bounces off the ground and I'm blinking for clear vision.

Black dots cloud my vision and I choke for air squirming away. Everything around me blurs except this one figure that towers over me, now there's two and I seal my eyes closed. "KEEP YOUR HANDS UP!" The words rush to me and I shield my face with my elbows.

I take a kick in my stomach, for a second I forget how to breath, I forget where I am, or why I'm even here. There's no more air for me to take, I've lost all hearing in my left ear and is now replaced with a high pitch ring, I can't move.

It took two blows to take me down. Get up. I tell myself trying to pick my head up but I feel myself getting rolled over. Punch after punch after punch until I throw my arms up shielding my face. I jerk my hips up and throw her over me. She's gone.

I'm breathing again, I turn to where Kent was the last time I looked. "Get me out!" His eyes divert above and I follow landing on Tamir, right, he's the one that got me in this ring. "Get me out!" I use what breath I have left to shout. "Please!"

With the wave of his hand the bell rings three more times and I race to Kent, he catches me and I use him as a walk to lean on as he leads me out the ring. "Weak!" A man shouts in my face. "You're pathetic!" "You couldn't even last five minutes!" More curses and mean words are thrown at me.

"Get out the way!" Kent shoves their nasty words as I shield my ears. Did I really not last five minutes? I should have counted. I counted how many seconds Tamir lasted, I should have done the same for my fight.

"Here." A bottle of water is offered to me, I shake my head sitting down and start removing the gloves. I snivel into my hands. Tamir called me weak before, and I heard it again tonight...is that true? Am I really that weak.

"Cheer up." My tears stop at the sudden voice. "You'll win next time." I sniff picking my head up.

"Next time?" I stand meeting Tamir's eyes. "There's not going to be a next time!" I'm moving to him in pure rage. Ive never in my whole life wanted anyone to choke on their own words before, to feel pain, to swallow a mournful of their teeth.

My right hand moves on it's own, balling up and decking him right in the jaw. Pain, pain, pain radiates through my hand but the blood that's boiling in my blood is overheating me as a whole. I'm dragged by the waist but I kick ready to fight a man twice my size.

"YOU WILL NEVER PUT ME IN A RING AGAIN! YOU HEAR ME?! NOR WILL YOU EVER LAY A HAND ON ME! IM NOT SOME RAG DOLL YOU THROW AORUND!"

"Clam down!" Kent's in my ear.

"You can try break me all you want! Make me see your unforgivable acts, insult me, but don't you DARE lay a hand on me!" I'm turn away and now I'm screaming at a wall. I remember this feeling, this rush of anger, but it's never been so strong.

I remember when my parents died I was in complete shock but when I lost my older bother the same feeling I feel right now was all I felt. I breathed this emotion, ate it for breakfast and dinner, it took over my life.

And then the awareness I felt after, the humiliation of my reckless actions, the embarrassment. It hits harder now, like a tuck. I fall to my knees shedding my eyes harder then I ever could. I hit him.