Halcyon

Part 48

Tamir's POV.

"You fucking idiot!" I get into my car. "Why didn't you just say it straight up! Why did you say it at all?!" The urge to bang into steering wheel surpasses me but I already have a healing wrist.

I can't even think about that, I need to get to the meeting I'm already running late to. Either way, I can't stop thinking about the slip up. What the hell was I thinking?! Was I even thinking to begin with?!

I try going through a few meeting but the thought sits in the back of my head, nagging me. Even a few killings don't distract me.

Thank God Kent called me, but as soon as I told him I was on my way, he hung up. I just talked to myself for the remaining time, just to mask it. It was stupid, but I panicked.

I saw the way she looked at me, she wanted me to say it again, her eyes wanted nothing more, but I couldn't bring myself to. Saying it wasn't intentional, it just slipped and I thought it was just fly over her head. It didn't. She heard. She fucking herd!

"Sir," the door to my office opens, "dinner." Kent wonders in and places a plate in front of me, then utensils. He pushes it to me then moves to walk out.

"Wait," the thought is going to kill me. He turns and waits for me to speak. "I told her I love her." It's finally out for the second time, I'm not surprised to his silence.

"Well," I hear him step forward. "Do you?"

Ever since those two weeks apart from her, I've been feeling such strong emotions towards her I can no longer control it. I don't know where it came from or why it had to happen with her but it's just...there.

"If you don't sir, you shouldn't say such things," I glance up at him, "with all the respect sir, words like those can be the downfall as well as an uprising in any relationship. You don't want to drive her away, and you don't want her stuck to you...unless you do?"

I don't answer. I don't even have an answer. "If your intentions are pure then that's great, but if they're not then you'll just hurt her even more. It's another thing if she didn't say it back." She didn't because she was busy trying to make sure she heard me right.

I pinch the bridge of my nose. "You can go." I dismiss him. You don't want to drive her away. No, no I don't. She's become an essential part of my routine, of my lifestyle if you will, I can't let her go.

God, what is wrong with me?! I rub my eyes. What am I doing?! I even even want her to begin with, it was all fun just to mess with her and now where I am...fucked. This is going to mess with my head.

I make it to her coffee shop at my normal hour the next day before having to resume work. It's not until I'm at her door once more later that night having a prep talk with myself does it really hit me. I'm nervous.

"Okay," I breath out. "Don't mention it if she doesn't mention it, easy as." I nod then knock on her door and then she opens it. She's in a light pink set with her hair up.

"Hi." She smiles opening the door winder for me.

"Hello my love," I turn to the kitchen where she has bowls and ingredients out. "You're baking? At this time?"

"Yeah," she wonders back in and I admire her from the back, "it's Kate's birthday tomorrow and I couldn't do it while she was here. She left like an hour ago."

"Right," I take my tux off placing it on a stool then put my gun down on top. I move to her scanning the different bowls, "Chocolate cake?" I look down.

"No," she moves away, "that's um, brownies." She turns back to me then pushes me lightly out the way to grab mittens. "Her dad loves them." She opens the over and takes out two cakes.

"I love them too," I reach over taking a bar off a chocolate.

"I know, that's why I made more." She places the two cakes down then shuts the oven with her ankle. "You want something to drink?" She goes back to whisking, I move behind her.

"No." I press myself onto her then take her hips captive. "I'll just watch." I rest my chin on her shoulders. She smells good....like lavender...lavender and cake.

"How's running the mafia going?" She steps sides and I go with her.

"The usual." I want to tell her more, tell her about the meetings, about the people I take down, about my schedule and why I'm so busy but I fear she can't handle it. I don't want to drive her away. "How's the coffee shop?"

"Good." She moves back to the cakes she took out and starts to removes them out their pans.

"So does this mean you won't show up to work tomorrow?"

"Yeah...Kate doesn't particularly like you so she has hard feelings on me inviting you to her birthday. Why haven't you tried with her yet?"

"What am I supposed to say?!" I sigh. "If she doesn't like me she doesn't like me."

"Don't be like that," she stops and turns to me, "I want her to like you, I want you guys to get along."

"Cut my some slack here, I've never actually tried with anyone but you in so long, I don't know how this goes."

"How about you get to know her for starters, let's go on a double date!" I give her a look. "Come on! We go and she brings a date, it'll be fun! That way you can get to know her a little."

"I don't do double dates, you're the sole exception for dates."

"Please," her eyes grow bigger. "Make this exception, for me?"

"No."

"Aw please,"

"No."

"Okay fine." Her face drops and she shoves me away going back to her baking. I let my hands drop before rubbing my eyes, I fucked her mood up. I can tell by the silence and the noticeable clacking of material as she continues.

"Fine."

"Really?!" She turns burning with fire once more. I slow nod. "You mean it?" I nod once more she rushes to my arms and I watch her. "This means a lot to me," she pulls away then kisses me. "Yay!" Her smile lights up making me look away just to contain myself.