Halcyon

Part 24

I'm shaking. Not in fear or anger but in pain. My right hand is soaking in ice water so cold my skin is losing colour, my left hand has an ice pack in which I'm using for my face.

I've calmed down and I've let the silence in the room deafen all six of us, I didn't question why the same four men are in here, and Kent. I've never hit or wanted to hit someone as hard as I did to Tamir.

"He's going to kill me." I mumble keeping my eyes shut. We haven't moved yet and Tamir hasn't come in screaming for my head.

"He's unpredictable but I doubt he'll kill you." Kent's reassurance only works half way as I groan diving deeper in my own hole I've dug up.

The door swings open and I sit up alert, I drop my ice pack and pick my towel up to dry my hands. "Everyone out." He orders then his dark eyes land on me. They scan my body still in my boxing gym wear.

"I'm sorry," I utter out as he takes a step forward. "What I did- the way I acted, that was unreasonable. I-I don't know what came over me." I scan his expression "Please," I stand at his urgent pace.

"Get on your knees." He barks and I blink at him.

"Wha-"

"On your knees! Now!" I drop at his tone, my eyes widen as he pulls a gun out from his waistband and wags it in my face. "You think you can just embarrass me in front of my men and nothing will happen to you?!" The gun is glocked and my eyes shut.

"I didn't mean to embarrass you-I don't know what came over me!"

"Beg for your life! Beg my for forgiveness!" A shot is fired and I'm shielding my ears.

"I'm sorry! P-please! Forgive me! I-I'm so sorry!" I keep going fumbling over my own words, I keep begging in fear that if I stop I'll lose my life.

"Stand up." Even with a gun in my face I can't get knees to work. "Get. Up." He grabs my arms and hauls me up to him. "Look at me." I blink the rest of my tears out and looking into his wild eyes, I try controlling my breathing but can't.

His eye fall to my lips and then he takes time as if his own, his force hurts my mouth and his tongue takes over the inside. He shoves me away aggressively wiping his mouth with his sleeve like I'm the poison here.

I sallow down hard as we stare at each other. "What are you doing to me?" He demands an answer. "Huh?! Tell me?"

"I'm not doing anything!" I clench my hands shut.

"Don't lie to me!"

"I'm not-"

"Stop fucking lying to me!"

"I want to save you..." now that it's out, I feel as ridiculous as I sound.

"What?" His face scrunches in confusion. "Save me?!" I nod tearing up. "You want to save me?" I nod again. "Do you know how fucking stupid you sound?! I can't be saved!"

"You can!" I protest taking a step to him. "If you let me-"

"A man like me can't be saved Halcyon!" He waves his gun making me bite on my lip.

"Please put the gun down."

"What makes you think I can be saved?! Huh?! Have you seen me?"

"Yes," I nod setting another foot before the other. "I've seen you, you've been trying so hard to show me how big and bad you are-"

"This is who I am!" His neck veins pops and I drop my eyes to his hand still clutching the gun. "I kill! I lie! I cheat! I'm a grown man! I don't need to change!"

I've made it to him and I reach out to touch the fabric of his shirt. "That's the mafia, you've been trained to kill, to lie and cheat. Do you even know who you are-"

"Shut up!" I do. I'm not testing his patience. "You won't change me." He warns. "I can't be fixed, I'm not broken! You can't save someone who doesn't want to be saved!" I drop my eyes to his fabric that I'm clinging on.

"You're right," I nod. I should have never told him, I didn't even have a plan to how I could help him yet here I am. "I'm sorry. I-I should have never said anything."

"Get off me!" I'm shoved and I take a few voluntary steps back putting more distance between us. I whisper an apology trying to collect myself. My night ends there. He stares at me for too long like he's trying to figure me out.

Like I'm broken myself and my pieces are everywhere and he can put me back together. I don't risk it, I don't look at him with the same curiosity, I just wait until he leaves.

Just like my first morning here, I get up and shower then change into the clothes I'm given. Even though this outfit's skirt stops just above mid thigh, I'd admit it's really cute. The top itself is a soft pink with tiny floral designs, had a low v but is tied with a cute bow and from mid chest to my bellybutton there's a crisscross pattern that's tucked into a white skirt that had a slit to stop it riding up.

I tug on the long sleeves and even use yesterday's curls to make it look like I actually have natural curls. The pendant he gave me hangs around my neck as the only jewelry.

I walk back into the room to see a couple of workers are patching up a wall, I move to get a better look and see exactly what they're patching up, the bullet hole. Right, cause instead of shooting me, yesterday Tamir shot the wall.

I look down at my bruised knuckles and practices clenching and unclenching them, both throbbing, my right hand where I landed a perfect punch in Tamir's jaw throbs it's in sync with my heartbeat. And I thought I could sleep it off. I was wrong.

I tried to massage myself in the straining shower but that only helped to some extent, my stomach still hurts from being kicks and my jaw, I can't even start with that.

"Halcyon!" I wiz at me name, I don't even realize Tamir came in. "Come with me." I move.