Don't Let Me Go

Chapter 18

Chapter 18: Silah

I didn't feel like getting up to go to school the next morning. I didn't feel like putting on my clothes and facing the day like everything was okay. Because it wasn't. I was in pain. Emotional and physical pain. I felt my heart breaking inside my chest as my lungs constricted, refusing for me to cry anymore because I couldn't breath. I felt the world rumble and shake under my feet, leaving me to fall under the pressure of gravity. It was to much. It was all just to much! I couldn't handle it anymore. I screamed into my pillow until my throat burned. Until I knew that if the pillow could, it would run away from me because I was losing my mind. I guess it was true.

And it was all HIS fault.

Even the mere mention of his name brought a whole new tidal wave of anger and resentment. It brought me right back to screaming and letting hot tears roll down my cheeks because I just couldn't stand it anymore!

I ignored Cecil's questions as soon as I burst through the doors of our house. He screamed at me to ask where I had been but I shut him out. Just like I shut off my phone. I shut off my laptop, locked my door, shut my window, and cranked my music up until I was sure I'd eventually become deaf.

I even ignored Doanna. I knew she hated being ignored but I couldn't stand the thought of talking to anyone right now.

I groaned in irritation as I heard Cecil knocking on my door. If only he knew... But I was sure he would find out today. So then he could come and yell at me but by then, I'd be so numb I wouldn't even notice.

"Get up Silah! We need to get to school!" Cecil said through the door. I heard him jiggle the handle but, again, I locked that as soon as I came home last night.

"I'll take you to school but I'm not going." I shouted, my voice hoarse from yelling at my pillow all last night.

"Are you sick?"

"Sure, lets go with that." I muttered and pushed myself off the bed.

I slipped into my penguin slippers and grabbed a white sweater from the chair near my bed. My hair was already in a sloppy bun so I figured I wouldn't worry about that. I looked down at my white t-shirt and grey sweatpants before slugging over to the door. I swung it open and glared at my younger brother. He took a step back and glanced at my outfit.

"You look like shit." Cecil said without warning.

"Thanks ass-wipe" I shot back and stormed down the stairs to grab my keys.

Cecil had to jog to keep up but I kept walking until I swung open the front door and walked to the car. I slid into the drivers seat and felt the car purr beneath me. Cecil jumped in the front seat, his bag slung over his shoulder as he struggled to put on his seatbelt before I peeled out of the parking spot and started the journey to the school.

"Jezzus Silah! Calm down!" Cecil said with wide eyes. I clutched the wheel until my knuckles turned white.

I made a sharp turn into the school parking lot, getting the middle finger from a few unhappy parents and students. I ignored them as well as I pulled into a parking spot. Cecil glanced at me nervously before hoping out of the car and jogging over to a few friends of his.

I put my head on the steering wheel and tried to control my breathing. After a few seconds, I looked up and started the car. I flipped on the radio before backing out of the parking spot and driving as far away from the school as I could.

I ended up at Fairway Lake. After parking the car, I walked out to the edge of the lake. Also leaving my sweater and slippers in the car.

The dirt felt good under my bare feet. It slipped between my toes and became cold the closer I got to the water. I bent down and rolled up my sweats before taking a few tentative steps into the cold water.