The Void Between Stars: Book 4 Of The Orion Series

Amy

[Trigger Warning: discussion of suicide]

My mom takes John by the shoulders. "John. Come help me with that—that thing. In the kitchen."

"Right," John replies immediately. "That—that thing that needs fixing."

They both rush out of the room. Amy, still standing on the staircase, rolls her eyes.

"Well gee, that wasn't weird at all, was it?"

I laugh nervously. "Yeah I know, r-right?"

Amy saunters down the rest of the stairs and stands in front of me. I want so badly to hug her, to tell her I'm so sorry for scaring her. I want to promise her I'd never, ever leave her, and she really doesn't have to worry about me killing myself because I couldn't do that to her.

But instead she's standing there, looking like she doesn't know what to do. And her arms are behind her back, and she looks super nervous. I think if someone said boo at her, she'd jump out of her skin.

I wait patiently, letting her dictate how this goes.

"Um," Amy says finally. "I—I got you a welcome home gift."

I'm touched. "Amy, you didn't have to—"

She brings out from behind her back a bag filled with water. There's a single goldfish swimming around. I'm immediately taken back.

A goldfish? The fuck am I going to do with a fucking goldfish? How the fuck does someone even take care of a goldfish?! Was Amy seriously expecting me to be able to keep this thing living?! For fucks sake, she knew that I could barely take care of my own damn self!

"O-oh. A goldfish." I take the bag from her and force a smile. "You shouldn't have. You really, really shouldn't have—"

Amy looks at the ground and sniffs. I can't see her face, her hair falling in front of it. When she speaks, it's barely above a whisper. "I thought maybe if you had something to take care of, if you had something that was dependent on you for survival, then maybe you wouldn't want to leave anymore—"

I nearly drop the damn thing. "Fuck, Amy!" I pull her into a tight hug.

And I hate it because she's clinging to me, and she's crying, and she's shaking like a leaf on a tree in a typhoon, and it's the Goddamn hospital all over again. Finally I open my eyes and see John and mom peeking at us from around the corner. I roll my eyes, kiss Amy on the top of her head, and gently guide her back toward the stairs.

"C'mon. Let's talk in the guest room." I shoot a glare at my relatives, and their heads disappear around the corner. "You know, where we'll have privacy!"

"Sorry," I hear John and mom mutter.

"Worst family ever!" I tease loudly. As we make our way to the room, I mumble to myself, "You bunch of eavesdropping hobos."

I'm happy when Amy laughs at that.

We go into the bedroom where I'll be staying. Amy sits on the bed while I chose an armchair by a desk. Amy still isn't looking at me, looking at her lap instead. For a moment I don't know what to do or say.

Finally I put the goldfish on the desk gently. When the bag starts to roll I panic, grab it, and re-position it. When I'm confident it's not going anywhere, I turn back to Amy.

"Fuck, Amy, this thing is as good as dead yaknow."

I'm happy when she shoots me a rueful smile and a playful glare. "You better not kill it."