The Void Between Stars: Book 4 Of The Orion Series

Stepping On Toes

"One two three four, two two three four--ow!"

"Fuck!"

Annoyed, I let go of Christine and walk away, running my hand through my hair. I put my hands on my hips and turn to her.

"Sorry--are you alright?" I ask her.

Christine kind of smirks. "You act like this is the first time I've had my foot stepped on."

When I just continue to glower, she smiles kindly. "Let's take a break, okay?"

I'm not pleased. I really want to keep going. But I resign myself to the fact it's probably for the best. "Sure."

Christine follows me over to the bench where our bags are. I reach into my black duffel, pulling out my large water bottle. Drinking from it hungrily, Christine sits beside me and takes small little sips from her own metal bottle that's pink. When she's done, she looks at me.

"Are you okay?"

"Y-yeah," I lie.

"Are you sure?" she asks gently. "You're one of my best pupils. I'm actually a bit surprised how easily this is coming to you."

I shrug, taking another gulp of water. "I like doing this, it's fun. And I'm finding having a musical background is helping with my footing, because I understand the beat of the music."

"I'm glad," she says. Christine then pauses, and I catch her looking concerned at me. "Orion, no offense, but you're kind of a mess today."

I shrug, drinking still more water. "Everyone has off days, right?"

"Well, yeah. I'm just wondering, did something happen?" To my mild surprise, Christine scoots a little closer. "Like, personally? Did you break up with your girlfriend or something?"

Truthfully, that was exactly what was bothering me. Ever since Olivia, I had remained celibate. Doing that with anyone besides Tristan just didn't seem worth it anymore. I had totally lost interest in sex. Which I'm sure wasn't helping my mood at all, either.

I know she's just trying to be nice, but I throw a glare at her. "Actually, yeah, I did. Are you hitting on me?"

Now Christine looks annoyed. "I'm a lesbian, Orion."

"O-oh. I--I'm sorry."

Christine sighs but then laughs. Shaking her head, she continues. "Sorry, I'll stop prying. I'm just concerned is all."

"I know," I say, because I do know.

A hesitant pause, and then, "Can I do anything to make you feel better?"

I let out a sigh, mulling that question over in my head. Then I look at her, smiling. "No. Thank you, though."

"Did you want to wrap this up early?"

I close my bottle of water and get to my feet. "No, definitely not. My flight isn't even for another hour. What am I gonna do? Wander around New York?"

"You could."

I chuckle. "I'd get mobbed.

Christine frowns. "Oh. Right."

Smiling, I hold out my hand to her. "Ready?"

Grinning, she takes it and gets to her feet. "Of course."

By the time the session is over, I'm kind of a sweaty mess. Not as bad as when I perform, but moving around for two hours, even if it is fairly simple, still takes stamina. I was starting to realize just how out of shape I really was, and vowed to fix that.

The rest of the class had gone smoothly. Well, better anyway. I still messed up more than I usually did, but at least I didn't squish Christine's foot again. As I packed up my duffel bag, my mind wandered. I suddenly, almost compulsively, wanted to talk. So I did without looking at my dance instructor.

"It's not my girlfriend I'm upset about," I speak, staring down at my bag instead of Christine. "Before we dated, I was in a serious relationship with this guy Tristan."

"Oh."

I still have my eyes locked on my bag. "It's been months now, but I miss him."

"I'm sorry."

My hands become fists at my sides, but I'm not digging my nails in. "I really, really miss him."

My dance instructor says nothing, so I continue. "It just sucks because my ex-girlfriend, Olivia...part of the reason why her and I broke up is because of my fame. Sometimes I worry that I'm gonna die alone because so few people can handle a lifestyle like that." Shaking my head, I speak quietly. "Fuck. I can barely handle my life."

When Christine doesn't reply, I shoulder my bag and finally look at her. The look of sympathy on her face kills me. I didn't want sympathy. I'm not sure what I wanted, but it wasn't that. "So, sorry I was off today. I'll be better next week."

To my surprise, Christine takes a few steps forward and pulls me into a hug and rubs my back. I tentatively wrap my arms around her too. After a moment, she pulls away and smiles at me. "Take care, Orion. I'll see you next week."

I smile, but I know it's a sad look. "Yeah, see you next week."

~

On the plane ride home, I stare forlorn out the window. Looking at the clouds, I allow my thoughts to wander away from me.

It's strange how even happy memories can bring pain. I'm thinking about Tristan. Of course I'm thinking about Tristan. It was so messed up; I was the one who broke up with him, and yet here I was, feeling absolutely fucking miserable. My thoughts grew dark--did he feel the same way (doubtful, whispered my brain)? Did Tristan think about me as much as I did him (doubtful)? If he thought of me, did it bubble up feelings of happiness or resentment (probably the latter)?

I thought about one day, when he and I were sitting beneath one of the only trees in my backyard. His back was up against the tree, his legs splayed. I sat between them, reading a book as I leaned against his chest.

It was perfect. That day had been incredibly mediocre. But I thought about how comfortable I was leaning against him like that. Everything was relaxed. Everything seemed perfect. And I remember vividly looking up at him once, and his eyes caught the sunlight just right, and they seemed to almost glow. They were so bright, so kind. And as I looked up at him, he smiled at me then...just a soft, tender smile that reminded me that he loved me. The smile had been such a simple thing, and yet it meant so much to me.

Wiping away a tear, I pull out my phone and text Scott.

5:15PM

I don't know what to do.

5:30PM

In regards to what, Bauwens?

I want Tris back but I don't know what to do.

Once again, why are you telling me this instead of Tris?

Because it's easier to talk to you.

I love you mate, but I'm going to be a bit of a dick now with tough love. Grow a pair and reach out to Tris. The worst that can happen is you get a no, which leaves you exactly where you are.

5:45PM

Got it, Bauwens?

Instead of answering, I pull up Tristan's messages.

Love:

5:46PM

I miss you, and I'm sorry |

But instead of hitting send, I stare at the blinking cursor until we've landed in Vermont.