I cried writing this so...have fun:)
C O R B Y N
I know I shouldn't let it get to me but I can't help it. The comments, dms they're all too much. I try to tell myself what they are saying is not true but how can you deem something not true when you've thought of the exact same things. When you've told yourself you're not worth love and tried to push it to the very back of your mind to be forgotten only for others to tell you the exact same thing.
'You're ugly'
'Daniel doesn't deserve you'
'The band would be better without you'
I've thought of it all of it.
~~
I lie in my bed staring at my screen reading comments (which I know I shouldn't be doing) *the boys went to eat I didn't feel like leaving the bed* I didn't notice the tears falling down my face until it hit my cheek. I haven't told Dani about this and I don't know if he's even been reading the comments because I know it's not something he really has time to do since there are thousands of them. I also don't want him to worry, it will just be more stress on him and he already has enough with trying to write new music by the deadline and with management.
Franny's comments were also starting to get to me. I know Daniel tried to remove her from our lives but maybe she's right. Maybe I am ugly, maybe he doesn't even want to be with me...no Corbyn don't think like that.
Alot of time must have passed because the next thing I know my phone is dying and I'm emotionally and physically drained so I don't have the energy to get the charger.
I sigh laying my head on my pillow and pulling the sheets up to my chest slowly and quietly crying.
After a while of just laying there I heard the front door open which probably meant Daniel was home. I got up and went to the bathroom to wash my face.
D A N I E L
I walk into the house tired might I add. I looked for Corbyn realizing that he might be upstairs. I walked into the room only to find the bed empty and the bathroom door closed. Okay so he must be there then.
I heard the bathroom door click and out walked the most amazing,wonderful,perfect boyfriend in the world. Daniel stop it you're not in a tv show(hehe🤧). Anywho how can he be so perfect.
"Hey bub, how was dinner" he asked me trying to sound happy 'key word trying'
"You okay babe?" I asked seeing faint tear marks on his cheeks.
"Yeah umm...just s-stubbed my toe against the shower" He lied how I know 'he didn't look at me avoided eye contact (he only does that when he is nervous or lieing).'
"Oh" "well uh dinner was okay, would of been much better with you"
C O R B Y N
'He's just saying that to make you not feel bad' a voice told me and it was probably right .
"I really missed you Corbs"
"But bubba you live with me and see me all the time" I laughed softly
"Still" he said hugging me resting his head onto my chest.
I can't tell him now even if I was planning on it. He's happy now I dont want to be the one to ruin that. I don't want to tell him I have had depression in the passed that might be coming back because he'll worry.
So we went to bed that night with the comfort of each other but my mind still racing.
~so what you think?
~this physically hurt to write🤧
