Spartace: Love Again

Decisions

I wandered in to an unfamiliar building. I was greeted by a man behind the counter, telling him I needed to talk to Kim Jongkook, asking if he was around. He gladly led me downstairs where the actual gym was.

I found him lifting weights, his arm muscles bulging out, sweat dripping and grunting at the heaviness of what he carried.

I sighed to prepare myself but my heart started to beat rapidly, anxious of how he could react. I slowly walked up to him and stood by his side.

"Oppa, can we talk?" I firmly told him.

Nothing.

I looked down at him and noticed he wore earphones. I forcibly took them out and asked the same question again.

He finally dropped the barbell and wiped his dripping sweat with the small towel wrapped around his neck.

"Jihyo, what are you doing here?" he wondered.

"How could you go straight here when we have a problem. We need to talk!"

"I was just clearing my head. I didn't want to do anything I'll regret"

"Will you run away by yourself when a problem arises?"

Jaesuk oppa was right. I should have just gone home and rested to clear my head too but I got so caught up in just getting it over with. I was never a patient person and hated waiting. Jongkook was not exception to that. I didn't want to wait any longer to have a talk with him.

"Jihyo, I didn't run away from you. I'm sorry I left earlier but I was going to call you afterwards" he explained.

"Call? You think a simple call was going to be enough?"

Luckily no one was around at that time, the gym was empty with Jongkook being the only customer.

"Okay let's talk. Let me change so we can talk somewhere else" he said.

I agreed with his decision and waited for him to get changed. His apartment was close by and decided to go to his place and talk.

The walk over to his apartment was awkward, we distanced ourselves from each other and stayed silent. All you could hear were sighs.

History was repeating itself, the same thing happened two years ago except the mood now was more tensed. I felt a mixture of emotions.

I thought I could be stronger this time and change my mind but in the end, I had to choose him.

We settled down in the living room. He offered to order in food but I knew he was only stalling.

"Oppa, what's your decision?" I asked him straight forwardly.

"You know what it's going to be. I promised you I'll fight for you. I won't let the show end but they can fire me if they want. I'll talk to Junho-ssi if I have to, just to let you stay on the show"

"You already planned this out"

"Jihyo, we'll be okay, I promise. It's not the only show I have and also there's Haha's restaurant I partially own"

He sounded so secure, like he already planned it all out knowing it could lead to where we were now.

"You're not going to regret leaving the show? What about the nine years we've spent on it"

"I can always meet up with the members in my own time"

"Are you not one bit concerned of what the producer told you earlier? You'll be banned from the station and other producers won't take you for other shows. When celebrities have scandals, they get pulled out of their current shows"

"Jihyo, what are you trying to say?"

His facial expression changed. He was calm but now he was taking me more seriously. His smile disappeared, looking more annoyed than angry. It was the first I got scared of him, scared of how much he'd get hurt.

"I'm saying... we should end it here, to save both of us. We don't have to be stubborn. If we weren't given the chance before then there's definitely no chance for us now" I spoke, my voice getting louder.

"How could you say that so easily?

"I'm not letting you suffer because of me. I'm breaking up with you before this gets out of hand. I can't let you ruin your life oppa, you may sound like it's all planned out but will we be happy? You'll end up hating the thought of us being together when you realize I was the reason you hit rock bottom"

I trembled in anger, sadness and worry. I let my tears roll down my face, unable to hold them in any longer. My emotions may have taken control of me but my decision was final.

I did choose him but, not in the way he wanted me to.

I had to save him even if it meant hurting him for a while.

Jongkook was quick to hug me after seeing me cry. He tried shushing me in a soothing way.

"I'm not going to suffer because of you. I'll only suffer if you leave me and I would never hate you for staying with me even if I lost everything" he assured.

I pushed him away from me, angry that he still wouldn't listen despite the world going against us. I abruptly got up from my seat, storming out the front door to get away from him.

"Jihyo. Song Jihyo!" he called for me.

I didn't look back, I couldn't. I might have stayed if I did. It would only have his hopes up again.

Walking outside from his apartment, he ran after me and I felt his grasp, his arms wrapped around my waist from behind, his chin rested on my shoulder.

"Can you stop worrying about me for once and think about us" he continued.

His voice trembled from restraining himself from crying. I felt his breath brush against my cheek. It was the most desperate he had been and seeing him like that, my heart ached for him.

Tears streamed down continuously from my eyes. It was a hard decision to make especially when he was begging me not to leave. I stayed silent, only the sound of my sniffling could be heard.

"I...I can't" I uttered.

"Why can't you? All you have to do is stay by my side. Why are you letting them dictate what you can or can't do" he cried.

"I thought I could... I just... don't love you enough to make you my priority"

I knew he wouldn't stop and I had to be harsh in order for him to let me go. I easily unclasped his hands from my waist but he instantly grabbed my wrist.

"You're lying" he turned me around to face him.

"Look at me in the eye and say it again" he added.

I stared right into his eyes and said "you can't be my priority".

I shook off his hand which was the last thing holding me back and ran away as far as possible so he could finally stop chasing me.

I ran off to cross the road but little did I know, a car was speeding through the streets, crashing into me in a blink of an eye.

I laid there in my own pool of blood, wondering if that was the end for me. If it was, at least I knew Jongkook got another chance at life even if it was without me.

The last thing I saw was him rushing towards me, screaming for help. He dragged the driver out of the car who looked drunk, punching him in the face then threw him back on the ground.

He got down on the floor next to me, caressing my face and telling me it was going to be fine. He cried and tried so hard for me to stay awake, saying the ambulance was on their way.

"I'm.. sorry" I told him weakly.

Gathering up the last bit of strength in me, I placed a hand on his cheek, giving him one last smile before closing my eyes.

**********
(A/N): don't lose hope.

One thing I can promise is that it will get better.

If you have any ideas you might want to see happen, leave a comment or message

Happy reading readers ;)