Spartace: Love Again

Mutual Understanding

"SONG JIHYO ANSWER ME!" Jongkook snapped.

I was startled by his tone of voice. Jongkook had never raised his voice at me no matter how bad the situation was.

I couldn't answer him for some reason. I watched as he turned his back on us and proceeded to walk away.

"Fix this! He deserves that much Jihyo" Haha demanded.

I couldn't disagree. I had hurt him so much already, thinking it was for the better. I was only destroying the last bit of relationship we had left.

I grabbed my coat from the chair beside me and took off to find Jongkook. I chased him and got to the elevator in time before it fully closed. I slipped a hand in between the small gap of the doors, making it open again.

We stood there waiting for the elevator to go down. He didn't talk and most of all, he couldn't look at me.

"Oppa let's talk about it hmm?" I begged him.

He ignored me and once the elevator door opened, he just continued to walk away. I followed him to the underground carpark where he finally acknowledged me. We got in his car to avoid others hearing us.

"Since when were your memories back?" his voice trembled.

"My last day at the hospital. I saw the tiger keychain attached to my keys and memories came rushing back"

He leaned his head back and closed his eyes. He pinched the bridge of his nose and sighed deeply.

We saw people passing by the car and thankfully they didn't look in. I lowered my cap to avoid being seen by people outside the car.

"Let's go home first then talk" he said.

He started the engine and drove out of the carpark, onto the main road. It took us a while to get to his apartment due to traffic but after nearly an hour, we reached his place.

We settled down in the living room. It felt weird to be back in his house but it also felt like I was home again. There were more pictures displayed on a shelf beside the television. One picture in particular was of us that he had framed.

"Explain yourself then" Jongkook instructed.

"Oppa I really wanted to tell you but..."

"But what? You decided to pretend instead and make a fool out of me?"

"I heard you talking with Junho. He said as long as I couldn't remember you, there was no relationship to prove"

"Do you really hate the thought of being in a relationship with me to go to that extent?"

"Oppa do you still not understand that all my decisions are because I love you?"

"Love? You were willing to drop me that fast and you call that love?"

"I wanted to protect you from making a decision you could end up regretting"

"I wasn't going to regret anything. Why do you keep deciding by yourself?"

"What about you? You also wanted to decide by yourself without considering how I would feel if you were to get fired. I would have felt guilty for letting you ruin your career"

"Jihyo you still don't trust me. Why can't you just believe what I say? Is feeling guilty really above us?"

There was no end to the arguments. We were going in circles with our fight, unable to come to a conclusion. I started to fidget with my hands and looked down at the ground.

"Let's end this" he sighed.

It was not something I expected him to say. Jongkook had been stubborn up to that point and never thought he would back down.

"What?" I questioned.

"You win. What's the point in fighting for a relationship when you already left?"

Kim Jongkook was really giving up?

I wondered for a while if it was a dream or if I really heard it right. I wondered why he suddenly agreed with me when he was so eager to fight everyone else for what he wanted.

"You want to end it?" I repeated.

"Let's be realistic, I lost you that day. I can't afford to let you get hurt again because of my stubbornness. If staying friends is as close as I can get to you then that's better than not seeing or talk to you at all"

"Oppa"

I knew he didn't give up yet. I sensed the little fire inside him, that small bit of hope that when our situation got better, maybe, just maybe we could continue being happy together.

"Friends?" he put his hand out in front of me.

I looked down at his hand, giving myself a moment to absorb everything before taking it and shaking hands with him.

I was selfish as well. I wanted to think that hiding a relationship wasn't so bad and that it was possible, yet deep inside, I knew I had to let him go when the time came that everyone found out. I wasn't as strong as him but I really wished I was.

"Friends!" I smiled.

As we shook hands, none of us realized a moth got in through the open window. It flew right in front of me. I panicked, screaming from the sight of the flying insect close to me. I jumped and threw myself onto Jongkook. Without thinking, I hugged him, hiding my face on his lap.

"Oppa!!! It's coming to get me!" I screamed.

I heard him shooing the insect away and tried slapping it far away from where we were. He even grabbed a piece of paper from the coffee table, rolled it up and tried swatting the moth to make it leave.

"It's gone now" he let me know.

When he put the paper back down on the table, I got up from hugging him as well, flustered at what I had just done.

I sat there quietly as he stared at me with his glistening eyes. I was still blushing, embarrassed from getting scared of a small insect and using him to hide myself from that moth. I avoided eye contact with him, looking anywhere else but him.

"Jihyo" he spoke.

"huh?" I finally looked up to meet his eyes.

They looked like they longed for someone, waiting patiently for that person to come back. I saw his eyes moved from side to side as if he studied every part of my face.

"I'm sorry" he continued as he tucked my hair behind my ear.

"Why are you sorry?"

"For this"

He leaned forward, closing the gap between us and claimed my lips with his. Startled, I froze in place while he pulled me in closer, his hand holding the nape of my neck.

I tried so hard to make him forget about me, pushing him away but that kiss made me realize what I would miss, his touch, his lips and those beautiful loving eyes.

I couldn't hold back anymore and followed his lead but as soon as I started to kiss him back, he stopped himself.

"Oppa"

"I.. don't know if I can do this Jihyo"

"I don't know too"

He stood up facing the ceiling, pinching the bridge of his nose and sighed in frustration. I put my hand out to touch him and comfort him but I stopped just a few centimetres away from reaching his back.

"Come on, I'll take you home" he spoke.

We were both struggling to cope with the situation handed to us.

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(A/N): I realized I've written SJH's character as a person who is emotional and overthinks. Please bear with the repetitiveness.

Happy reading readers ;)