irresistible||larry

Part 15

May 10, 5:06 pm.
Three weeks before the collapse.

Progress. Progress is impossible without change, and those who cannot change their minds, cannot change anything. It's about self-conviction. If you think you're okay, then you are. But if you think you're slowly dying, then you're fucked.

And Louis himself didn't seem to get over what happened. He thought he couldn't.

Four days passed. Four days since his mother died. And four days it's nothing. In four days you learn how to load a gun, or how to fix a TV, or a car. But in those days, Louis lost her touch, her voice started to become unclear, her face blurry, her hugs just a memory. He lost her.

Also, he was becoming sick. He started to eat less, a lot less actually. Barely. He was weak, he knew it. He stopped showering, he stopped training, he stopped sleeping, he stopped caring.

"L?" A voice called and of course it had to be Harry. Like who else?

"No." he groaned. He was laying in bed with food all over the room, probably some cigarettes around, and maybe even some blood.

"L, get out of your room." Harry asked gently. "I know it's hard but— please, you need to get better."

"Can you come here?" Louis asked. His eyes still closed, his head buried in the bed sheets. Harry silently sat on Louis bed, but then slowly laid next to him, seeming to wrap his arms around him, but then decided against it.

"Do it." he whispered.

Louis could feel Harry tensing at those words, but he did as told, wrapping his arms around his waist and resting his head on Louis' pillow. Louis liked him. It. Louis liked it.

"You giant." Louis mumbled as he turned around to face Harry. Without even thinking, he swears he did it without even thinking, he pressed his lips against Harry's, trying to hide the shock after he pulled away by hiding his face in Harry's neck.

"Kiss me again."

Louis slowly lifted his head up, looking at him confused because what did he say? He stared at him like he had three heads. Harry leaned dangerously close to him, until their lips were brushing against each other. He closed his eyes, waiting for Harry to close the space between them. When he did, Louis felt different.

The kiss was different, not in a good or bad way, just different. There was noting more that that, just a kiss, both of them where willing to keep it that way. When they pulled away, Louis didn't even look at him in the eyes, he just turned around again, feeling Harry's hot breath against his neck. His eyes closed, his breath became more heavy. He could recognize the room if he opened his eyes, he knew he wasn't asleep.

"L?"

And that's why.

"Hm." he mumbled in response.

"Stop smoking, please?" Harry whispered, but his voice begged. "I know that your mum passed away, but you're sick L, and you'll only get worse if you don't stop." Pause. "I'll help you, I promise, it'll be okay."

And he didn't know why, but Louis found Harry's words so reassuring that he believed it for a second. But obviously, life was just as bad as he was. He didn't even know what he and Harry even were, but he didn't care right now. He needed someone to comfort him, and every time he thought about someone that could just hold him, the boy was the first person that came to his mind.

"Thank you, H," he licked his lips. "Can I ask you something?"

"Mhm"

"What— what are we?" Louis asked, biting his bottom lips waiting for an answer that never came. He shut his eyes closed, tapping quietly in the skin of Harry's arms. Was this happening? Holy shit it was happening. What was even happening, he didn't even know what he was talking about, yet he laid there, waiting for what felt like hours.