irresistible||larry

Part 17

May 20, 5:28 am.
Two weeks before the collapse.

Depression has three stages.

First, you try to remember every memory that made you happy, but your brain erases every moment that bought you joy. Second, you find yourself living one endless and suffocating loop, with all your days blending together.  Third, eventually, all you can think about is how life has always been this way, and it will continue to be.

But you don't really realize the situation that you're in until you actually feel like everything just seems to be so fucking quiet. Nothing happens. You open your eyes, you smoke a cigarette, you drink some water, take some pills, and eventually, close your eyes again. Your friends bring you food, and they force you to eat it, but it just doesn't taste of anything.

Life doesn't taste of anything.

That's why Louis didn't realize he was depressed, he just had his routine. But then, reality comes back, and hits you like a fucking train. And again, her traits are disappearing, just like his strength.

"You do realize what you've done, don't you?" Liam groaned as he kept walking back and forth in Louis' room.

"They're gonna look for us. No, wait, they are looking for us, they are going to kill us, L. If you would've been more careful, then we wouldn't be at the point where we have to hide from a gang that's smaller than us! I just can't believe you."

Update. Liam found out that it was Louis who actually killed Nick, not Harry, he just didn't know why. He didn't know that Louis' mum was death, and he didn't know Louis was slowly dying too.

"Yesterday, N came back home fucking bleeding because he said he was attacked by Luke. You just weren't thinking, were you? I don't even know why you just woke up and decided it was time to kill him, and then—"

"Li, stop." Harry said as he stormed in the room, eyes cold.

"What? H you even took his fault, there's gotta be a good reason, right?" He looked between the two of them. "Tell me this fucking good reason!" The room went dead silent. And sure as hell Louis wasn't going to say anything.

"Li, can you give us a moment please?" Harry asked, but the cold glances that he threw at Louis, who was laying on his bed, never left his face. And Liam must have noticed too, because he just sighed and nodded, shutting the door behind him.

"L," Harry turned his head to Louis' bed, and his gaze immediately softened as soon as he saw him.

"Hm?" Louis mumbled with his head buried in the pillow.

"I think you should get up and take a shower." Harry declared, his voice begging. Louis felt bad for him, but he wasn't sure why he cared.

Him and Harry became incredibly close these days, but Harry was just helping him out. He just felt sorry for Louis, he was sure of that. They weren't in good terms, they disliked each other (Notice the ed). He wasn't even sure why, but Harry was the only one who knew about his mum's death. Louis thought he was gonna say everything to the others, but strangely, he didn't.

He wasn't really sure what was going on between them, usually they just had sex, but when Louis became sick, Harry didn't stop to show up, even though he knew they weren't going fuck. He was thankful for that.

"Can you come with me?" He asked.

Harry staid silent. "Uh...yeah, okay sure, okay."

He helped him out of bed, and turned the water on. As soon as they got into the shower, Harry took the shampoo and started washing Louis' hair, while he rested his head against his shoulder with his eyes closed and his hands wrapped loosely around his waist.