I Wish Someone Cared

Life is a Bitch

I know, that was a pretty sad story. So sad that tears are starting to well up in my eyes but I won't cry. I haven't cried in two years. If I don't give my captives something in response to there torture they usually get bored. Or they get mad. But I guess that is why I'm here. I guess that's why I'm still here. Because I provide a release for these men to get there anger out plus I'm entertaining enough that they've kept me here. I wish they had killed me. When they broke my spirit... they broke me but still I sit here. My arms wrapped around my shivering half naked body while darkness engulfs the entire room.

Here I'm treated like a caged animal. Why do I say that, you ask? Well first one would be the fact that I'm kept in a cage. I know my life of luxury. Or that I'm fed food in a bowl and my water I obtain from a leaky pipe tainted with germs but it's either die from disease or dehydration. Most everyday I'm dragged from my cage to be punished for some crime I hadn't committed. When I was younger I'd deny and beg but instead I have short, sarcastic remarks and an uncaring attitude. And even my sarcasm has quickly been beat out of me.

Sarcasm used to be my one and only way I knew how to hide behind my fear but I just tired and sad and beat. I comply with everything, rarely scream, but I'm still afraid. And it still hurts. I'm used to the beatings now but it doesn't mean I'm immune. And I'm used to the pain of the realization my pack and family left me but I still can't believe it. It's pathetic but sometimes I wake up at night believing that it was all a nightmare.

The nightmare is what happened afterward.

The nightmare is my life now.

It's early spring now meaning that it's still a bit cold and of course there isn't any heat in the basement. Since I am the leaders prize I do have the benefit of at least getting a blanket to make sure I don't freeze to death down here because in the winter I might've. He came down every few hours to make sure I was still breathing but that was about it. He wasn't about to let his favorite possession die. And his little gangs favorite possession die either.

I keep my eyes pealed on the blank wall. My figure is tall and bone thin. The blanket is pulled around my arms and I attempt to have it wrap around my legs but it isn't that big. The shirt that I'm wearing is way too small for me. It belonged to the girl before me but like all good things here she came to an end. At least Clarissa made it out alive but that's a different story for a different time.

The shirt is a dark grey that exposes almost all of my stomach if I lift my arms up high enough, my bra is also too small and paper thin but I won't complain, and my jeans are the only thing that fit but they are ripped and dirty. I know that he's going to be coming down soon. It's about seven o'clock but that means nothing instead it's the yelling from upstairs that indicates that my services might be needed. I sniff a little the memory of the day of my abduction clear in my mind and the realization that six years later no one has even tried to save me.

Usually the beatings go with someone coming down to grab me and the men and occasionally women are already lined up. There faces pissed and tired and demonic in my mind. I look at them blankly concealing my fear from all of them and acting as if it doesn't matter. The few times that my owner is around he can tell if I'm afraid. And he only makes everyone go harder. How they happen changes all the time. Wether I tied or chained down varies also the location does too.

But tonight the tension is here and it's hard to ignore. I can feel it from beneath them and I can only imagine the pain that I'll feel. And despite the fact I retreat and act as if it doesn't hurt that much, it does. And lately it hurts more than usual. It's because the rouges are getting more terrified and in just a few days I'm becoming a full werewolf and becoming a wolf. The idea scares me. Because the days leading up to becoming a werewolf are the scariest days and at midnight April 6th I will go through what is suppose to be the worst pain ever and I can't let anyone know... or they will kill me.