I Wish Someone Cared

The Worst

Warning: this is a very mature chapter that talks about ideas and actions that may be too harsh for a younger audience. Viewer discretion is advised.

Alexandra's POV

Jayce hadn't left me. Jayce hadn't left me. Jayce hadn't left me. The thought, those four words keep repeating themselves over and over in my head, or seemingly my heart. I can feel his heart beating in my own chest, reminding me that if his heart was beating then hope is alive. I know I shouldn't let my hopes rise too much for two reasons: first of all and most obviously I know that this probably wouldn't actually happen, that I would die here and leave him broken, second is because I know if any of the people here saw any hope within me, they'd know something was up.

And then they'd definitely kill me which would lead directly into the first reason.

A vicious and deadly cycle, I know. 

I try to depress myself to bring my spirits down but anytime Jayce says anything, my heart skips a beat and excitement raises in my chest and seemingly radiates through my skin. The chains and the pain and the prison bars fade away, when he talks along with the cold, dark air and smell of copper. It melts away and all I can feel is him and the happiness that flutters in my heart.

But I can't deny the fear that raises in my chest.

I try to tell myself that it's because I'm afraid of where I am and all the Rogues, I tell him the same too. But it's of him, I remember my parents telling me similar things. That they'd protect me forever and they'd find me but they hadn't. They had done so much more than let me down, they had done so much more than kill me. And even if he did save me, how would I ever fit into the new society? How could I go back to my pack and face them again? Nonetheless his and be his mate.

And what if he was just like everyone else I once loved, a disappointment and nothing but empty promises and memories. If I thought about it too much ever single word began to sound like my father and my mother and my brothers voice all wrapped into one.

And those scared me much more than Ian's.

"Alexandra, please? Focus," Jayce whispers. I can hear the sleepiness in his voice, it was already six o'clock in the morning. The night had changed into dawn and we'd been awake for all of it.

"Yes. I'm sorry, sir," I breathe without thinking. I can feel his heart drop slightly as pain and anger seep in. I don't even realize why until he tells me, his voice still soft and easy so he doesn't frighten me.

"Please Alexandra, don't call me sir. I'm not them, I don't own you and I never will or ever want to," This had to have been the tenth time he told me this but it had become such a habit that I had to think more to not say it then to say it. I nod my head reminding myself not to say it again but oddly I forget when there isn't a punishment associated with when I mess up.

"Now tell me, are you on a mountain or flat land?" He asks. I wish I could tell him all the information that he wants to know but I really have no idea.

"I really don't know, it feels pretty flat. The few times they let me go outside, I can only see trees, never any mountains," I answer.

"Are near anyone? Any pack or civilization or interstate or anything?" I think, since I got my wolf, my super keen ears will pick up certain sounds that don't seem to be from here but from miles away but I don't know what it is.

"Sir, I've heard noises far in the distance but I doubt we are near anyone. It feels as if we are in the middle of nowhere," I feel as if any and all information I give him is useless. All I am describing to him are the woods which we knew I was in to begin with.