I Wish Someone Cared

Countdown

Alexandra's POV

If I didn't misinterpret what I over heard it's April 2 and if you were able to count you'd know that that means it's only four days away from my sixteenth birthday and if you do recall it scares the hell out of me. Why? Because its my first shift and I have to do it alone and silently. Or it will be my first and only shift. I was kidnapped at nine years old but I'm no idiot. I know that when you shift there's an unbearable and unimaginable amount of pain that takes place. It's your bodies bones and muscles creating a whole new mold and shape. It won't be easy. It isn't for anyone. But I pulled the short straw with the whole fact that I have to do it silently. I'd never heard of that happening before... because I'm pretty sure I hadn't. And I'm no fighter or warrior so if they couldn't it's close to impossible for me to do the same?

When they had taken me upstairs I heard Ian tell half of the people in the room that there was a mandatory hunting trip. I don't really understand that but he seemed pretty serious and no one argued. Even I can tell that something is amiss here and I am held captive. Either way it isn't my problem the whole event had a somewhat positive ending for me. Half the beating, half the pain, meaning half the time healing and more time to think and to remember. The room only consisted off six angry men meaning probably only six broken bones and maybe twelve bruises.

The only one who had ever told me anything about becoming a full wolf was Clarissa. I was only eleven and she was nineteen. She didn't say much because of my age but she did tell me that she found her mate. And her mate happened to be one in the group of rouges. A mate, from my knowledge, is just like a boyfriend or a love that your wolf loves but it doesn't mean it will work out. In my opinion if my mate was ever to be one of my tormentors, I would be mateless.

Clarissa didn't feel the same way and her ending will be happier than mine but she was a lot different then me. She complied with everything. Went along with it all which is something that to this day I can't do. And maybe that is what is killing me.

Either way all I know is Clarissa's mate saved her life, maybe mine can do the same thing for me. I don't want to get my hopes up on a subject that I know so little about but still for once I have hope. Hope that maybe they could at least offer me some type of comfort until I die. But how could they do that unless they were a rouge them self? Then would I want them there for me.

I remember one night Clarissa changed in front of my eyes and wrapped herself around me to keep me warm on a winter night. Her shift then seemed easy and painless and her wolf was a beautiful chocolate colored brown with a cream color on her stomach. When I turn I hope to be as beautiful as her but I haven't seen what I look like in two years now. I have no way of knowing if I'll ever compare to her beauty.

Who would've known that sitting in 17°F in the middle of the night would keep me up shivering and remember the few memories I had. The third patrol was out now and they are the scariest of them all. Bigger and rougher and in my opinion much... nastier. If I wasn't the leaders property one of them would've touched me by now. Not to say some of them haven't tried even including Ian himself but I always through a huge fit and fought back with the little power I had left. You can break my spirit and beat me almost to death ever day of my life but taking away my innocents and my morals was something I wouldn't allow.

From inside the basement I hadn't realized how cold it really was outside but now I'd be thrown into the chilled air. I'm chained up like a dog to the side of the house. After beating me one of the night patrols decided that they wanted to see me freeze outside tonight. The ideas become crazier and crazier and more uncomfortable for me everyday. I keep my arms around my legs curled up on my side but still it provides no comfort and warmth. Instead my body keeps on shaking and my teeth chatter and there's no way to stop it. No one to save me. No one who care but instead the people I'm surrounded by find it amusing.