A broken heart

Chapter 3

(AS A WAY OF THANKING NOT ONLY MY MOTHER BUT ALL MOTHERS AND MOTHER FIGURES IN THE WORLD FOR ALL THAT THEY HAVE DONE, ARE DOING AND WILL CONTINUE TO DO FOR EACH AND EVERY SINGLE ONE OF US. I WOULD LIKE TO SAY THANK YOU MOM, I LOVE YOU. FOR ALL THE MOTHERS AND MOTHER FIGURES OUT THERE, BE YOU AN ACTUAL MOTHER, A GRANDMOTHER, A GREAT GRANDMOTHER, A GODMOTHER, AN ADOPTED MOTHER, AN AUNT OR ANY OTHER TYPE OF MOTHER FIGURE THAT I HAVE FORGOTTEN TO MENTION. WE ALL LOVE AND THANK YOU FOR ALL THAT YOU HAVE, ARE, AND WILL DO FOR US ALL. AND IN HONOR OF ALL OF YOU AND OF MOTHER'S DAY IN GENERAL I AM GIVING YOU GUYS AN EXTRA CHAPTER ON EACH STORY. I HOPE THAT YOU ENJOY THEM ALL.)

Not that I had ever wanted to be with her, or anyone else other than my Roza, and I still don't. But that may be my only option to be sure that lyubov' moya gets the life, assignment and career that she deserves. The one that she wants so desperately. (my love)

"She and I are both supposed to become Princess Vasilisa's guardians."

'Not that that has kept me from falling and being head over heels, hell and gone, crazy and maddeningly in love with that very same princess's best friend.' I once again thought to myself.

"I can't allow myself to love her because I have no doubts whatsoever that I would throw myself in front of her instead of the princess. She knows that; Roza and I have already had this discussion." I shook my head sadly.

I noticed right away that I had slipped up and called my Roza by her nickname. But I only noticed it when I saw Alberta's lip twitch.

'We have had this discussion many many many times over the last few months as a matter of fact.' I once again thought to myself.

"Blah blah blah, that is all that I heard. And for your information, those are all excuses, not reasons or answers. Now, answer my question. Do. You. Love. Her? It is a simple one word answer question. Do you love her, yes or no?"

God, she sounds just like my Roza.

I sighed, my shoulders sagged, and my chin fell against my chest.

"Yes." I admitted in a whispered voice.

"Then do something about it!!! And don't look so damned ashamed, loving my daughter is not something to be ashamed of. You are very damn lucky that she loves you so deeply."

"I can't!!"

"Bullshit." She interrupted me.

But before she could say more, I spoke again. "I am most assuredly NOT ashamed of loving Roza. But I..." I was still in such shock at the quite honestly very frank, and Roza like, words and attitude. That I had just heard from the mouth of the captain of guardians of the academy and my boss. That as they continued to roll through my mind I couldn't speak.

Mentally knocking myself out of my reverie I spoke again. "I have to keep us apart for the safety of the princess."

"As I said, bullshit. Now, by all means, please do try again." She said with her eyebrows raised in a challenge to my words. Along with her arms being crossed over her chest and an extremely pissed off look on her face.

Suddenly, all of the reasons that I have been clinging so desperately to and using to keep my Roza and I apart. Ran through my mind again and every single one of them sounded exactly like excuses, just as Alberta had accused of me. And just like trying to catch ash in your hands they every single one of them fell apart in an instant.

I knew that if my love for Roza was important enough to me that I would find a way to be with her. That I would find a way around, under, over or through all of those flimsy excuses that I have always used to keep my Roza and I apart. And it is that important to me, but there are still some problems.