A broken heart

Chapter 18

(I am so sorry these are so late you guys, I am just in soooooo much pain I haven't even been able to get out of bed yet. Again I'm sorry.)

"What's that Comrade moy?" (my)

I couldn't help but smile when she called me her Comrade.

"It never mattered to me whether or not we could have biological children together or not. YOU are what I have always longed for, a life with you means more to me than I can ever tell you. I LOVE you Roza moya. I wanted us to be together even before I knew that we are able to have a biological family together. I love YOU Roza moya and I always, ALWAYS will. Even if we could never have biological children together." (my, my)

She gently ran her thumb over the apply of my cheek and smiled. "I know that now Comrade. I was afraid, when Tasha offered to give you biological children of your own, that you would leave me. If only for the chance to be a father. Even though I knew that I could give you children of our own. I was never going to..."

"You were never going to tell me because you wanted me to make that decision on my own. You wanted me to stay with you because I love you and not just to have biological children of my own. You wanted me to decide if I wanted those children with the love of my life. Or with someone who it would be 'acceptable' to our society to have a public relationship with. You wanted me to decide whether or not I wanted you, when you supposedly could not give me children. Or I wanted children with just whomever would give them to me. You wanted to give me the option, without interfering, of making that choice on my own."

She nodded. "Yes, pretty much."

"I have made my choice. But to be completely honest there never really was a choice to make Roza moya. Even if we could never have had children of our own, I would have still chosen you. Always detka, al-yeblya-ways." (my, baby, fucking)

I saw tears fall from my angels eyes, but there was also a smile upon her glorious face. I swear that the woman is the most beautiful woman that ever has, or ever will, exist in all of time and space.

"Thank you Comrade, thank you. I love you soooo soooo much lyubov' moy." (my)

"No, thank you. Thank you soooo very very very much Roza moya, angel moya, lyubov' moya, my everything. Because it is you have given or will give me everything that I have ever even dreamed of detka. YA tak sil'no tebya lyublyu Roza moya." I almost sobbed those last five words. (my, my, my love, baby, I love you so very much my Roza)

She caressed my cheek again, for a few moments, as she wiped away my own happy tears with her thumb before she replied. "You are welcome lyubov' moy." I could hear and see the tears of joy and happiness in her voice and eyes they were just as prevalent in her eyes as in my own. (my love)

We continued to talk until the sun was high in the sky and Roza moya fell asleep mid-sentence, mid-word to be honest. I smiled as I gazed at her sleeping form, kissed her on the forehead, whispered an 'I love you detka'. And then I allowed myself to follow her into sleep. Happily, and with the love and light of my life wrapped safely and securely in my arms for the very first time ever. But it would most definitely not be the last time that is for chert sure. Even if I have to cleanse this entire planet of the royals like Jesse yeblya Zeklos and his ilk. Or raze the entire moroi race from the face of this yeblya planet.  (my, baby, damn, fucking, fucking)

Just before I feel asleep a thought occurred to me. 'I can't wait to wake up with lyubov' moya in my arms for the first time, and her in mine, in the morning.' Then I carefully pulled her comforter over us to keep the both of us warm it is December in Montana after all. And the thoughts of wanting to keep angel moya toasty warm was one of the very last things that I remembered before the blackness of sleep took me over. Lyubov' moya for her being my very last thought. (my loves, my, my love)