A broken heart

Chapter 11

(HELLO EVERYONE, I HAVE BEEN GIVEN MY CHRISTmas GIFT A LITTLE EARLY!!! BUT BEFORE I GET STARTED, I JUST WANTED YOU GUYS TO KNOW THAT WHILE I HAVE BEEN AWAY. I HAVE BEEN RESTRICTED TO MY WHEELCHAIR AND HOSPITAL BED AGAIN. BUT HOPEFULLY THAT WILL NOT HINDER MY ABILITY TO UPDATE ON TIME. I WAS VERY BLESSED TO BE IN SUCH BETTER HEALTH THE LAST SEVERAL YEARS. SO, I THANK GOD FOR THE TIME THAT HE GAVE ME WHERE I COULD DO THINGS FOR MYSELF AND TO HELP MY FRIENDS AND FAMILY WHEREVER POSSIBLE. UNFORTUNATELY, AS I SAID EARLIER, I AM NOT BACK TO WHERE I CAN'T DO MUCH FOR MYSELF ANYMORE. BUT I WILL DO MY BEST TO CONTINUE TO WRITE AND POST SO THAT I CAN HOPEFUL TAKE YOU OUT OF YOUR REALITY AND GIVE YOU A PLACE TO SPEND SOME HAPPY TIME. I AM SORRY THAT I WAS AWAY FOR SO LONG I MISSED YOU GUYS. NOW, ON WITH THE SHOW.)

"And as I said, she is my little sister Comrade." She explained to me as she lay her hand on my cheek again.

I sighed because as much as I still hated it, I understood it. I mean I do after all have a little sister of my own.

"I understand... but that does not mean that I have to like you fighting this battle for her. The dhampir already give up far too much for the moroi as it is. We give up our own health, safety, happiness and lives so we shouldn't be expected to give up our yeblya sanity for them as well." I was getting angry again. But not at Lissa and most certainly not at Roza moya. Just at the lives that the dhampir people are forced to live. The moroi force us to be their protectors, yeblya meant shields, cannon fodder, blood whores, bed warmers. It's either one of those or outcasts and even as guardians we are still treated, by them, as third class people. It is disgusting as ad and very hurtful to all of us. (fucking, my, fucking, hell)

'That is some wonderful type of life that the royals force the entire dhampir race into living. Not.' I thought to myself.

She smiled as she continued to stroke my cheek with her hand gently. "No, no you don't have to like it, but I could really use your support with this Comrade. And you are right, most dhampir do have to give up far too much for the royals as it already is. And if this were someone else in this situation, another dhampir that was bonded to another moroi, one that they didn't at the very least actually care very deeply about. That they didn't love like a member of their own family. Then I would be the very first one in line encouraging them to break the bond and live their life for themselves myself. But Lissa is my best friend and sister, and she has been ever since we were just seven years old. For over a decade now she has been my best friend and little sister Comrade. And because of that and the fact that I love her as my sister. I can't just let her deal with something like this, something this fucking horrifying and painful, all alone. Not as long as there is any way possible that I can prevent that, not as long as there is any way whatsoever that I can help her with it."

"Oh detka, as I said before you will always have my support, in and with everything. No matter what it is. Always lyubov' moya, always." (baby, my love)

At hearing my words, she smiled again, "thank you, Comrade."

"You're welcome, lyubov' moya. Now please continue." (my love)

She nodded. "Well, as I was saying, the only way that I have to expel the darkness, at the moment, is through training. Be that by sparring with someone else, working with the freestanding punching bag, the heavy bag, the speed bag or with the dummies."

"What do you mean by 'at the moment'?"

"Well, from what baba and Aunt Tati's researchers and scholars have been able to discover thus far. There is one other and much more effective way to expel, or to burn off, the darkness." (daddy)

"Really? How, we need to try that."

My beautiful Roza blushed all the way from her scalp to past the swell of her big full luscious, beautiful breasts. And I wondered briefly just how far down that blush actually went. But I tabled that thought for another time.