Silver Star

Chapter 8

Saya woke to Ben rolling off of her, gently removing himself off of her and standing. Saya sat up, wincing at how sore she felt. She couldn't help but wonder if she would feel like this after every time they made love. Ben assembled his clothes and Saya silently grabbed a dress from the small closet next to the bed and put it on.

She turned to Ben and could feel the arrogance coming off of him. He won. He had always won over her. He took her from the Healers Order and caused her to break two of the three most sacred vows, causing her to be excommunicated. Saya felt the strength she had from earlier was gone.

"Can you say you hate me now, Saya?"

She looked to the floor, feeling numb.

You know I can't Ben. You win. You always win.

Ben looked at her, still feeling victorious from earlier.

"We're together now Saya. Now and always. You got what you wanted as well."

She finally raised her eyes from the floor, tears in her lavender eyes. Sadness came off of her in waves.

No I haven't...

Ben felt a flash of anger but Saya continued....

Do you know what I want, Ben? What I truly want? Yes, I love you. I always have and I always will. The idea of being with you for the rest of my life was a dream I always wished for. The hope of that happening was the only thing that kept me alive during our training on the planet together. But... not like this. We could have taken another path together.

She wiped the tears from her eyes and tried to put strength behind her words.

Do you know what I dreamed of? What I prayed would happen? I wished you would have come to me during one of our nights together, telling me it was time to leave. We would have taken a ship together and gone to a new place. A planet far away where no one would know who we were. I wanted us to build a home together. A normal, quiet life together. No Healers Order, no First Order, and no Jedi.

She tried to continue staying strong, but the tears finally spilled from her eyes.

But you win, Ben. You took me from the planet the Order sent me to. I broke two of the three most sacred vows of the Healers Order because of you. You have the power you always wanted. And soon you will be just like your grandfather. And I am here, with no choice now but to stay and watch as you and the First Order destroy whatever you feel is in your path. You win it all Ben.

There was hard silence between them. Saya felt the urge to completely break down and cry her heart out, but she forced herself to remain standing and staring right into his eyes. He needed to know how serious she was. She poured all of her pain into every word she said and every tear she shed.

Saya waited for him to speak, but he stood silent. After a few moments, she finally felt a new emotion come from him. One she never once felt from him before.

Was it regret?

She didn't know. Before she could try and figure it out, a loud pounding came from the bedroom door. Saya jumped and the new emotion was gone in Ben and replaced with anger and annoyance.

A voice came fast from outside the door.

"Commander, the droid has been found! The fleet is prepared to leave, at your command."

Ben looked back to Saya and he seemed torn. She simply wiped her eyes and sat back down on the bed.

Do whatever you feel you need to do. We both know I'm not going anywhere...