Call Me Death (Fallen Series #4)

Chapter 19: Light of the Darkness

I didn't meet with Reverie for about two weeks. I don't have any strength to meet with her. I feel exhausted and I don't even know why I feel this way. After my encounter with that old man, I feel like all my strength are being sipped away from me. Damn it.

I reached out my hand on the air and stared at the dark sky. Pumatak ang butil ng ulan sa palad ko, hanggang sa nagsunod-sunod 'yon. I don't know where I am, I was just sitting in the middle of nowhere. May mga dumaraang tao sa harap ko pero niisa sa kanila, walang lumilingon sa akin. This is nothing new, but why do I still feel like shit when this happens?

"Hinihiling kong makita mo ang tahanang patuloy mo pa ring hinahanap." Those words, I hate it. "Home?" I chuckled, humorlessly. Is there really such a thing? "If finding home means I'll be hurt again, I'd rather be homeless."

"You're a mess." Napalingon ako sa kaliwang direksiyon ko at doon ko nakita si Ariel. Umupo siya sa tabi ko at sabay naming pinagmasdan ang mga taong dumaraan sa harap namin. Some were running because they don't have an umbrella, some were walking with a friend or a loved one with an umbrella to protect them from the rain. The rain was pouring hard that day, it was gloomy.

Come to think of it, lately, I haven't felt this way. Especially when I'm around Reverie. When I'm with her, it's just... light.

"Reverie keeps asking me about you. Hanggang kailan mo siya pagtataguan?" Ariel's voice irritating me even more. "Man, don't just do that to her--"

"You can't see in the dark, right?" Nagulat man sa biglaang pag-iiba ko ng usapan, umiling pa rin siya bilang sagot. I raised my hand once again, to catch raindrops. "All my life, the only thing I can see is pure darkness."

"Death--"

"I know you know about my past. And why I became Azriel, the Angel of death." Pumikit ako at dinama ang lamig ng hangin pero wala man lang akong maramdaman. God. This is suffocating than ever. I want to feel anything but not this pain. I hate it. "My past may seem painful, but trust me, it's not. In fact, I didn't feel any pain at all. But right now, I can suddenly feel it all. Everything. Bakit ngayon lang? Bakit ako nasasaktan?"

"Because you finally felt the feeling of being saved from the darkness," natigilan ako nang sabihin 'yon ni Ariel. "You've been cold your whole life. You were always alone. You never felt the feeling of having someone see you without running away. But then one day, after all the searching in places, you found someone who can see you and the demons inside you without being afraid. Anyone would be happy if that happens to them, you know." He chuckled and messed his hair.

"It's so fucking unfair..." I closed my eyes in frustration, trying to suppress the feeling of pain. "My whole life, no one dared to save me. But now that I've already given up, someone came and ruin everything. Damn it."

Tumayo si Ariel at nilingon ako bago umalis. "Sort everything out. How you feel about her. And what you really want. Then, come and find her. Huwag mo siyang paghintayin sa wala." Then, he walked away. Naiwan ako roong nakatingala sa madilim na kalangitan. Reverie, what am I supposed to do with you?

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Kinabukasan, naghintay ako sa tapat ng Crosswood University. As usual, lumabas si Reverie. Lumingon-lingon siya sa paligid, trying to look for me, until our eyes met. Lumamlam ang mata niya at malungkot na ngumiti. I waved my hand and forced a smile. Ah, damn it.

Nagpaalam siya sa mga kaibigan niya at tinakbo niya ang distansya sa pagitan namin. Nasa bandang eskinita ako para walang makapansin kay Reverie. Nang makalapit siya sa akin, tinulak niya ako. "Bakit ngayon ka lang?" The tone of her voice was a bit different. I don't know if she's angry or she's happy to see me. Hanggang ngayon, hindi ko pa rin siya mabasa.