Why Can't We

Chapter 7

Chapter 7

Sirin

Nanlulumo akong napatingin sa salamin habang inaayusan ako ng hired make-up artist ng pamilya ni Camilla. Tears began streaming my cheeks at wala na lang nagawa ang baklang naglalagay ng make-up sa akin kundi ang sumimangot. He couldn't cuss or shout at me because he knows I'm the maid of honor and that I may be the closest one to the bride.

"It's okay. Pwede kang magreklamo. Gusto kong may pag-usapan," naibulalas ko na lamang nang makitang parang sagad na sagad na ang pagkakairita ng make-up artist. Inirapan lang ako ng bakla. I'm sure he's not buying what I said. Tumitig na lang ako sa mukha kong dinaig pa ang bride sa kakaiyak. "You know, the groom is my ex and the bride WAS my best friend." Natulala ang bakla at hindi makapaniwalang tumitig sa akin. "It hurts to see them happy, you know but this is life. We can't have everything we want and I'm sure na mas sasaya pa si Humbert sa kanya kaysa sa akin." Tumawa ako nang mapakla. "I mean, I can't make anyone happy except myself. I'm that selfish. I'm that self-centered."

I give up. Yep, I already gave up.

Noong isang araw lang, gusto ko silang paghiwalayin pero nagbago 'yon lahat matapos kong mariyalisa na mas mabuti pang huwag nang masangkot pa si Humbert sa akin.

For years, he has been with me while helping me go through life. He helped me moved on. He gave me time. Too much time and I think that's one of the reasons why he's marrying Camilla now. Ako ang naging sentro ng relasyon namin. Kung ano ang gusto ko, 'yon ang masusunod. Humbert looked so happy all those years but I just realized why. He was busy pleasing me and he didn't give away himself to me. He controlled his behavior for me. Ni hindi nga nito kayang magalit sa akin. Ni hindi kami nag-away.

Napapikit ako sa kapaitan. 3 years. 3 years na palang sunud-sunuran si Humbert sa gusto ko. I was so dominating. I was so hard on him and if it wasn't for the way he smiled at Camilla, I wouldn't even know the difference between his feelings for her and for me.

He loves her. He pities me. That's the difference.

"Ehem," pagtikhim ng make-up artist kaya napatingin ako sa repleksyon niya sa salamin. He was frowning. "I don't exactly know your story, girl but you have to move on. There are so many men out there! Maganda ka naman at sexy! Marami kang mabibingwit na mga papabels kahit saan!"

Hindi ko mapigilang matawa. Sinimulan kong punasan ang mga luha ko at napangiti.

"I've decided to become an old maid." Napanganga ito sa sinabi ko. "And I'll stay away from men starting now." May isang lalaking biglang pumasok sa isipan ko na agad ko ring binalewala. "Men are not worth going to my grave."

May sasabihin pa sana ang make-up artist pero natigilan ito nang may sumigaw mula sa labas.

"Lynch! Nasaan ka na?! Gago 'to ah!" anang isang pamilyar na galit na boses. "Putragis ka talagang gago ka! Saan ka na naman nagsususuot?!"

The make-up artist cussed and I heard him groan before he hastily apologized to me then ran off.

Gulat akong napalingon kung saan tumakbo ang bakla. Ang nahagip na lang ng paningin ko ay ang dulo ng mahaba niyang pulang buhok. Just now, he looked familiar but I'm not sure. His voice also sounded familiar. Oh well.

Napabuntong-hininga na lang ako habang inaayos ang aking buhok. Tumayo na ako at naglakad palabas para pumunta sa venue ng kasal.

After all, I have a wedding to attend.

Naalala ko noong isang gabing tila baliw akong pumunta sa suite nina Camilla at Humbert dito sa resort.

Bam! Bam!