Love me! [illumi X Oc]

Chapter 34

(Warning: SMUT lolol 16+ content PLEASE Also slightly cringe)

Arisus pov

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I've longed for this moment. It feels like Illumi and I are the only two left in the world right now, floating atop a lake. I hate to admit it, but I've had fantasies of him gripping onto my body as if I were the only thing keeping him from drowning. Now as I sit in front of him and his fingers are pleasing me I realize that I have what I've always wanted. It was him, he was that piece in my life that I was missing. Those dirty thoughts, all of those dreams I had of him ran deeper than just lust, I realize here and now as I stare into those cold eyes of his that I am in fact falling for this killing machine. Is this healthy though? Perhaps I should stop him. 

I never thought the person my heart would yearn for would be an assassin, especially not one who barely knows how to express any emotion other than boredom. 

I feel his fingers slide out of me and he brings them up to my mouth. I eagerly open my mouth and let him slide them in. I lick my liquids away from his fingertips then make my way lower as if i were sucking on his erection and I stare into his eyes, those eyes I once thought cold and menacing I now see as my safe haven. Those dark, lifeless eyes don't seem to hold an ounce of humanity. Yet they make my knees weak and my heart race. He's witnessed many deaths with them. Sometimes when he looks at me I can tell he's looking acres past me. As if he's looking at nothing but a walking corpse. It makes me sad sometimes, will he ever see me as a living person? As an equal? Or am I hoping for too much?

"Arisu, I hope you don't think this is anything other than sex." His monotone voice rang in my ears and I ignore his cold remark. Nodding, I allow him to top me. I don't believe him, maybe I'm just being delusional but he's lying. I watch his eyes fill with rage once he realizes that I didn't take him seriously. He grabs my hands and puts them above my head, gripping my wrists and not allowing me to move.

"I mean it" I nodded again, I didn't say a word, I don't want to anger him any more. His dark emotionless eyes bore into mine.

"Tsk"

He let go of my arms and grabbed my face with his left hand. With his right, he pried my mouth open and stuck his fingers deep into my mouth. He watched as I choked on them and I fought back the urge to gag. Tears began welling in my eyes and my vision blurred, but through the blur, I could see Illumi smile a conniving smile. My heart skipped a beat and I closed my eyes, it's okay as long as he's enjoying what he was doing. My throat began hurting after a few seconds and he inched his face closer to mine.

"You're so pretty when you're breathless." He said in my ear. I shivered beneath his touch as I felt him release me. I turned to the side to cough and tried to quiet myself down for his sake. I saw his eyes raking my half-naked body and I suddenly felt self-conscious. He smiled at me again and reached to caress my face. I looked up at him and leaned in to give him a kiss. I couldn't hold back anymore, I need to feel closer to him in any way I can. My lips were so close to touching his, I could practically feel them brushing against each other but he backed away from me just before I could.

What a tease. It took everything in me not to grab his hands and pull him over me. I need him in me right now, I want to feel us both connected as one. No no, those are stupid desires. Shaking my head I try to rid myself of such empty-headed ideas. I suddenly feel Illumis cold fingers grab my chin and he forced me to face him.

"Beg." He gave me a wicked smile and I bite my tongue. I am not one to beg anyone for anything. "Beg me Arisu, beg for it," Illumi said with a hint of madness behind his voice. I felt his fingers make their way closer to my entrance and he let one slightly slip in. Illumi grew tired of my silence and he drew his fingers away from me. He let me go and stood up. My eyes widened as words tried making their way out, but despite my efforts they stayed put in the middle of my throat, it's embarrassing. I don't like begging, it makes me feel inferior.