Love me! [illumi X Oc]

Chapter 32

A/n: i'm feeling generous

Pov: y'all waiting for the story to get good^

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Arisus pov
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I wonder if my siblings hate me. I promised them I would take them out more often, I promised them happiness. Am I giving that to them? Or am I just repeating the same process my mother did? It's not like I beat them but I'm not fully committing to them. I think that's just as bad as physically abusing them, if not worse. I told them I would be home early today and that I'd bring Illumi since they miss him. But instead I'm laying in Illumis bed with bandages over my arm. It's weird because I know Illumi doesn't feel anything towards my kids yet they like him. What the hell is wrong with me?

"Illumi?" I look over at Illumi who's reading a book. He glances over at me and I sit up. "Do you know what love feels like?"

"You're full of weird questions, aren't you?" He sets down his book and looks at me. "Yes, I do know." He picks up his book again and continues reading.

My heart sunk and I look down at my hands. He knows what love feels like? Does that mean he's been in love with someone before? If so how did that person treat him? Why wasn't it me instead?

"Did you love them back?" I ask him timidly. Illumi sets his book down again and looks up at me angrily.

"What are you on about?" He stands up and puts the book on his chair. I watch as he walks towards the bed and I feel him sitting beside me.

"I'm thinking of ways these meaningless questions could benefit you and I can only come up with one.. I advise you to stop."

"Oh... okay." I feel so small next to Illumi. Maybe I should learn how to shut my mouth, why did I ask him such invading questions? I'm pathetic. Not because I don't know when to shut up but because being this close to Illumi makes my heart happy. Why is that? Could it be that I like him. That's not right. I shouldn't.

"Hey, illumi would you like to come over today... if you're not busy that is!" Illumi stands up and goes to his chair.

"I hate to disappoint, but I think I've had my fair share of human interaction for today." He opens his book and continues reading. So he doesn't like being around others for too long, huh. I didn't think that would bother him too much, considering his line of work.

"Oh! Am I bothering you?" I take off his cover and sit at the edge of his bed. "I'm sorry! I'll see you next time then. Thank you for helping me." I get up from his bed and begin making my way out. Illumi just watches as I walk towards the door, not saying a word as I leave his room. Hm, so I actually was bothering him. Awe man, that sucks. I don't want to bother him of all people. Wait, I don't think i have anyone else to bother either. Oh my God, am I a loner? I think I am. Why am I now just realizing this?