bouquet of roses | cashton

chapter 12

calum stared at him, wide-eyed and mouth parted slightly. he closed his mouth, closed his eyes, and drew in a breath before he looked his boyfriend square in the eyes. "ashton, if you're breaking up with me, just do it. i understand if you're not interested in me anymore, because hey, people lose interest fast and-"

"calum, calum! calm down, i'm not breaking up with you!" ashton pleaded for him to stop, and calum quickly silenced himself. ashton grabbed his hand and led him into the living room, where they sat on the loveseat next to each other. sighing, ashton tried hard to find the correct words. when it was evident he couldn't speak at the moment, calum grabbed his hand and worriedly smiled. "just spit it out. what do you need to say?"

finally, ashton went for it. "it's about... my family. you see..." he paused, once again unsure on how to say what he needed to. drawing in a breath, he continued. "when i was sixteen, i began to realize i was into guys. i was scared at first, so i tried to hide it... i didn't know how everyone would react. i went to a party with my friends and ended up getting really drunk, and, well, the quarterback on the football team came up to me and kissed me. since that day, i haven't kissed anyone. i... i didn't know people took pictures, but they came up all over social media the next day. my mom saw them, and pulled me aside. she was always so accepting, but, for some reason, she... she..."

ashton began to tremble, and calum felt his heart drop into his stomach. "ashton, you don't have to continue if you can't. i-i understa-"

"no, no, it's fine." ashton forced a smile, though calum saw a glint of hope in his honey eyes. "... she was so fed up with me, she... kicked me out. just like that. i lived on the streets for a month and a half until i ran away from the town, to here. your mother actually found me begging in the snow when she took me to the group home here."

calum smiled softly at the kindness of his mother. "yeah, she's the head counselor." ashton nodded in return, snapping out of his deep thoughts as he smiled sadly. "she's a great woman."

"i was able to stay there until i turned eighteen, and your mom... she paid for me to stay there. she even tried hard to get my own mom to let me back, b-but it wouldn't work." ashton's voice cracked, and he began to wipe his eyes feverishly. "she- she gave up on me, j-just like that! i was a straight-A student, i t-took care of my siblings when my dad decided to leave us so long ago, a-and-- god, calum, i just miss my little brother and sister, but i-i'll... i'll never see them again! because i decided to be a fuck up and a burden! y-your mother almost got fired so many times for keeping me there for so long, a-and i don't think i can ever forgive mys-"

"ashton, please-" calum stopped when he heard his own voice trembling. "y-you didn't deserve it. you... you were a great guy, i bet-- i'm so sorry!"

for a second, neither knew what to say. they stared at each other, crying, until calum's lips broke into a smile. this one was different than any other smile ashton had seen; this one was gentle, full of kindness and hope. "ashton, i promise... i promise to never hurt you in any way... this all happened four years ago, and i just promise you that you will never have to live in the past. i'm... i'm here for you."

then, ashton did something that surprised the both of them; he gripped calum by the shoulders, carefully, and leaned into him, placing a soft kiss to his lips. calum tensed, easing quickly as he kissed back, closing his eyes. for nearly a minute, they sat still, kissing each other with more love and compassion than either had ever felt in their lives.

finally, ashton pulled away as the both of them slowly opened their eyes. calum laughed a little bit. "we probably look like dramatic idiots how we're crying while we kiss. we're such losers."

"and i wouldn't want our first kiss to be any other way." ashton replied with a smile, placing another quick kiss to his boyfriend's lips.

that night, calum and ashton decided they wanted to lay in bed and cuddle instead of go out to dinner. so, they ordered chinese food, bundled up in calum's heap of blankets, and stared at the starry sky outside calum's window.

"hey, cal?"

"... yeah?"

"will you be my date to zayn and niall's wedding? i... i want everyone to know that you're mine."

calum just smiled, nodding at ashton as he buried his head into the crook of his neck.

and once again, everything seemed at peace in both of their lives.

--

brb i'm crying so much (jk but reALLY THOUGH)

sorry for not updating much i've been really sick ))':

also omg i really hope ashton's past makes sense?? it's late and i am a loser soRRY,

i feel so bad for ashton how about you guys )';

next few chapters will all be very happy, also there's only like three more chapters and an epilogue whaaat? (unless i end up doing 20 chapters)

AND PEOPLE HAVE YET TO VOTE/COMMENT I'M SO UPSET I HOPE I CAN GET MORE PEOPLE IN THE FUTURE???

i'll update Suddenly tomorrow, and likely start some new fics!

much love! please comment/vote xx!