Holding Back

XX

(warning: smut)
[ chapter 20 ]

april 5
11:30 a.m
manhattan, new york

- - - - -

I woke up to an awfully annoying blaring alarm. I quickly reached over and shut it off. I realized that the alarm was mine, and I must've accidentally set it or something. I sighed and rolled over.

I admired Ariana's beautiful features. She still looked so angelic and perfect even when dead asleep. I think this is the most peaceful looking I've seen her for a long time now. I felt my stomach swarm with butterflies and my heart melt. My chest felt warm.

I sighed blissfully. Ariana began to shuffle and then turned my way.

"I can feel you staring." I almost jumped when she randomly mumbled that. A blush crept up and I smiled sheepishly. Her voice was so raspy and low but it still had that airiness to it that I love.

"I'm admiring," Is all I said back. The corners of the brunette's lips curved upwards as she began to smile. Her eyelids slowly opened, revealing those big doe brown orbs you could just fall right into.

"Get the fuck outta here with that sappy shit." She giggled through a dopey smile. I laughed and moved a little when she playfully pushed me away by my shoulder.

"I'm taking a shower, then we both know we need to talk." I said as I got up and stretched. "I know.." I sighed out and began walking to her bathroom. "It'll be okay." I mumbled, hoping she heard me but also hoping she thought I didn't want her to hear.

that bitch has bat ears, she heard hoe

Shut up.

I quickly stripped off my clothes, turning on the shower. I did everything you're supposed to do in a fucking shower, then my after-shower routine. I then walked out in just my towel.

"Ari, do you have some of my clothes?" I asked. She nodded and stood up, walking over to her closet.

"Of course she does." I mumbled jokingly. "I heard that!" She yelled. I laughed out loud at that. Fucking bat ears.

"Here you go, ba-Y/nn." She smiled, handing me a pair of sweatpants and a hoodie and then running out the room. I chuckled at her antics and go back into the bathroom.

~~~~~

"Okay," I breathed out as I flopped beside Ariana on her couch.

"Okay," She gave me a nervous smile. I gave her as genuine of one as I could.

"I want to start, because I'm sure I already know what you wanna say," I began. "I want you to know that I forgive you, now. I was hurt for sure but now with the time I took to reflect and everything with Camila I learned that I need you. As much as my mind doesn't want to." She giggled a little, I smiled.

"I love you and there's no getting around that. I don't want anything with anybody but you. I just need to know if you're ready. If you're willing to commit and give me reasons to trust you again." I explained. She nodded.

"I love you too, Y/n, so much. And I'll do anything— I'd give anything for another chance. For your trust, respect, communication, and love. Anything. You're my favorite person. And frankly, the love of my life. I'm sorry for making you feel less than what you are, but you're more than you could ever imagine. You're worth and good enough for anything, everything, and anybody." She sniffled, her eyes brimming but still she held a smile.