Made For The Mafia (18+) (1 of 3)

Chapter 41 - Sorry

[One week later]

[Cat's POV]

I haven't let anyone into my room in a week besides Daria. It's stupid and foolish to act this way, shutting everyone out for what one man did - or tried to do. But I can't help it. I'm used to being strong and confident and in control. He made me weak and vulnerable.

I have never have to fight someone off like that before. I have never had to realize that my fighting was useless against him and realize what was about to happen against my will. Not even at the club. I have been lucky until last week. Everything was always consensual. I didn't have to worry. Enzo said I didn't have to worry here...

Russell made me worry. He put the anxiety and fear in me. The doubt that anyone here could do what they wanted to me if Enzo isn't by my side.

He made me feel powerless.

I will never feel that way again.

Never.

"He wants to see you." Daria says in a small voice as she sets my lunch down on a tray on the bed behind me. I'm standing by the window a few feet from her, staring at the backyard below us.

I sigh and brush my hair behind my ear out of my face. "You say that every time you come in."

"Because every time he makes me tell you." She replies and I roll my eyes.

I know I need to talk to him. I should have the night it happened when he came home and pounded on my door for what felt like hours. Or the next day. Or the one after that. Or that.

I'm thankful to him that he kept his word in only giving me a key to my room. If he had one, I'm sure he would have used it by now. Part of me is surprised he hasn't broken the door down by now. But I think he is trying to give me the space I'm silently asking for.

I don't blame him anymore. Or at least, I don't think I do. I shouldn't have in the first place. It's hard to blame someone for something that almost happened, all because he wasn't there. I would be overreacting if I put this all on him. And knowing him like I think I do, he already bears enough of this burden from feeling guilty.

Yet, still, I refuse to see him or anyone else but Daria. Danny tried - but I had more reasons than Russell to turn him away. Even Anthony tried to talk to me. I wouldn't let him in. At the time, it felt like a cover to let Enzo through the door once I unlocked it. In hind sight, I shouldn't have turned Anthony away. He saved me. I should be thanking him relentlessly.

Each day, I hear Enzo's voice outside the door, pacing, for hours. I sit on my side of the door each time, listening to him. I feel safer with him close, even though I keep the door between us.

I don't think he's left the house this week since coming home that night. I hear him constantly. Sometimes he's just on the phone working. Sometimes he's talking to me, trying to get me to let him in. Sometimes I just feel him sitting there.

Until yesterday night.

He didn't come to say good night through the door, and that hurt more than any reason I ever shut him out for to begin with.

"How about we go for a walk outside?" Daria tries to coax me into leaving and I shake my head, still staring out the window.

"Caterina, I know it was traumatic. Trust me. I know." She says ominously, making me wonder what she means. But she continues before I can ask. "But he is dead. Anthony got there before he..." she trails off, not wanting to say it. "It's time to go back out there with your chin high and confidence higher, dear."