Blindsided

Unusual Way

I have been sitting on this for eleven damn chapters, and I'm finally pulling it out. Special thanks goes to Dotemms for her beta skills, keeping me level-headed when I get too lost in the feels. For those who have been here from the beginning, you're super stars. This one is something you've all been waiting for!

Song is Unusual Way from the musical Nine. Specifically, the gorgeous rendition sung by Griffith Frank. I really suggest listening while you read; this song absolutely is my ship song and makes me cry like a baby every time!

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  She laid on the floor, surrounded by broken ceramic and spilled tea, and cried until she dehydrated herself and tears wouldn't come anymore.

  Picking herself up off the floor, she winced as shards of stoneware bit into her hands. She surveyed the damage and sighed, then got up and cleared it all away. Once the kitchen was back to rights, she dragged herself into the shower and washed the tea from her hair and the blood from her skin. She was thankful for her healing factor; the cuts would have stung if they hadn't already closed up. When she got out she threw her dress into the trash bin, got dressed in her sleep clothes, and went to the kitchen to gulp down a glass of water before refilling it with ice water and pressing it to her head, where a migraine had started to throb from the crying she'd done that night.

  Walking back to the bedroom she noticed that the kids had both fallen asleep on the couch, and she stood and watched them thoughtfully. Selever had Ruv's height and good looks while Ras had his coloring and kindness and she felt her heart ache at the thought. She couldn't believe he'd left her; he said he needed time but how long would that be? Knowing him, it could be anywhere from a few hours or weeks before he came back and she'd be left to stew in her misery all the while. She huffed and stalked back to the bedroom, shutting the door and flopping on the bed.

  "You've gone soft, is what's wrong," she grumbled to herself as she rolled over and hugged her pillow. "You're Satan and you went and fell for a human."

  She'd spent so much time among mortals that it was easy to forget that she was otherworldly. She acted like them, ate and drank and slept like them. And apparently, she even loved like them. Her hard demon heart had let Ruv in and gone soft; if the Princes could see her now they'd laugh as they tore her to shreds and squabbled over her throne. She'd been a fierce warrior queen in her own right once, but now she doubted anyone would listen to her even if she was there.

  The Vow, she decided, was what did it. He sold his soul to her and she'd gone and let herself want his heart in the bargain.

  "'Til the sun and stars and universes collide'," she snorted. "What a crock of shit."

  She buried her face. In a weird way, she owed who she was to him. He'd imprinted himself in her mind, wormed his way into her heart and made his home there. He'd managed what no other mortal could dream of and tamed Lucifer. He had sold her his soul, but somewhere along the line she'd offered what was left of her own soul in return.

  A sigh heaved out of her. And now all she had to show for it were tears and a promise to return with no word as to when.

  Still, she yearned for him. She needed him in a way she'd never needed anyone before. Something inside her went weak for him, surrendered to his whims and scared her with its intensity. She didn't know how it got this way but her protector, her sworn knight, had become something more. Her heart broke for him, aching for him to pick her up and put her back together. Sel's tirade has exposed the raw and bleeding truth, that this was no crush. She'd been in love with him for years, and been too delusional to realize it. And Ruv might love her back.