Blindsided

Born For This

We should be wrapping up in a few more chapters, but I wanted to set up what can happen if you push a time loop's stability and why it's a good idea to make sure a time loop is completely stable.

Song is Born For This by The Score. Major thanks to Dotemms for her beta work and my Hole People for their patience! Cover art by Sonzai on Twitter! https://twitter.com/sonzai_buredo/status/1392359509528547332?s=20

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  Sel was due for another jump that day.

  Ruv was fucking terrified .

  They still weren't making it past a month forward and back, the stability of the time loops tenuous past a couple weeks. More than once that week Sel had come back winded, gasping for air, having tried to jump forward farther and failing each time. He knew his son's frustration was mounting, that he was going to slip up and hurt himself if he couldn't figure out how to go forward farther. It was equally frustrating for him too; he just didn't have the ability to help Selever at all, no powers or abilities that would enable him to do anything but stand aside. It was just something Sel would have to do on his own.

  He was pacing the edge of the library, Sarv and Ras busy clearing a space for the jump that evening, fingering the edge of a blade and thinking hard. Though they'd done these jumps probably a hundred times by now, these big ones never seemed to get easier. Everyone would get tense and snappish, the only calm one being Selever himself. But today, even Sel seemed drawn taut and vibrating like an over-tuned violin string. Ruv couldn't shake off this feeling of dread, an impending doom that creeped along his back and latched onto his neck, strangling him.

  He truly hoped his concern was unfounded. He hoped that he could trust Sel not to go too far. But he had to be honest and not kid himself; Sel was many things, but patient and focused he wasn't. Ruv knew his son, he knew it was a matter of time before he did something reckless and dangerous and it would bite him in the ass. His only hope was that when or if Sel did do something stupid, that it wouldn't end up killing him.

  He snapped the blade open and closed, a nervous tick. As well, there was the whole thing with Sarv. He had a feeling that she was beginning to see things his way, but how could he be sure? He thought of the little blue box he'd tucked away in his older, more ratty sweaters. He knew he had to wait until he was sure she was ready, until he was sure she'd give him an outright yes. He wanted his ring on her finger for the world to see, a token of her belonging to him in not just his own eyes, but the eyes of the world. But he knew he'd have to be patient or she'd bolt, like a rabbit in winter snow. He hoped his plan would work, and that this time next week she'd be his and never able to run away.

  He huffed to himself and pocketed his knife. People were just so complicated.

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  Selever was keyed up, jumping from foot to foot, wings fluttering and hands shaking as Rasazy did a final read through of her notes and Sarv was brushing his sweater down and fussing. Ruv watched him shaking his arms out, shaking his head and mussing the careful coif of his hair so like his father's own. The tension was still there, a dissonant chord in the air, humming with an energy of panic and dread. Sarv smoothed out the last wrinkle in Sel's sleeves, and stepped back.

  "Take your time, darling. Go only as far as you feel comfortable. Don't worry about making us wait, just try your hardest to keep it together and close the loop. It's imperative you keep the time loop stable, if you force it you could do damage to not only yourself but the timeline."

  "Wow thanks Mom," Selever said sarcastically. "No pressure or anything."

  She bit her lip and walked to stand by Ruv, and he grabbed her hand and squeezed it tight. He could feel her nerves on edge, the way she was fretting even though outwardly she didn't really show it. To anyone else she'd look unconcerned and unruffled. But Ruv knew her like the back of his hand; he could see the slight sheen of nervous sweat and feel the trembling in her limbs. She was hiding it well, but she was a wreck. Anything could happen this time.