the shadows ballad ° kaz brekker

chapter 11

chapter 11:
you again.
Nyx

There was chaos.

I couldn't find Kaz, Inej, nor Jesper, and the state of Alina Starkov was unknown. I hadn't physically seem my father yet, but I could sense him. And if I can sense him, then he can sense me and we will soon have a most heated reunion.

Is it clear?

I slowly opened one of the many secret entrances throughout this castle, and almost turned the lights out when I spotted someone.

"Kaz?"

"Nyx! Are you alright?" He ran towards me as I shut the entrance behind me, and the first thing he did was grab me by my shoulders.

I almost pulled back because for as long as I've known Kaz Brekker, he's hated the mere thought of touch.

"Y-yes, of course. Where's Inej and Jesper? Did we get the Sun Summoner?" I quickly asked, making sure that no one had seen him.

"They're fine, and yes, we've acquired the target."

Thank the Saints.

"But, there's something I need to do before we leave," He grabbed my hand with his gloved one, and pulled me into a room. He peeked in first, but then shut the door behind us when he confirmed that no one was there.

"What's wrong?"

"I've waited a long time for this," And kissed me.

My eyes widened at his immediate action, and my heart began racing as his lips felt soft against my own.

I discovered I liked Kaz when we left Ketterdam, and knew that I could even be falling in love with him, but doubted he would reciprocate my feelings with his own.

But he proved me wrong.

I gave into him as his gloved hands cupped my face, and my hands rested on his chest. Surely this wasn't the best time for kissing, but he was really good at it.

Wait.

I shoved him away as my shadows materialized into a dagger, and held it at his throat.

"The Kaz Brekker I know wouldn't touch anyone so easily, let alone kiss me. Who are you?" He held his hands up in surrender with a sly smirk.

Tailor.

"So you were with them."

My body froze as that familiar voice plagued my ears, and brought back all those fake memories of happiness.

"Aleksander," I said, and I could feel his smug smile.

I turned around, trying to contain the fear I felt as I finally looked at him again. He stood there, completely confident in his black kefta.

"Or should I say father?"

"Ah, Baghra told you," He didn't look surprised and let the fake Kaz slip out of the room, having done his dirty work.

"You couldn't even tell me yourself. Coward," I spat.

"I did it for your own good-"

"Bullshit!" I shouted, and he looked slightly shocked.

Stop lying.

"And you even have Genya make a soldier look like the man I love? Just how sick are you?" I questioned, feeling completely violated.

"You wouldn't let me talk with you otherwise. However, I would love to meet the man my daughter loves someday. Kaz Brekker, was it?" The darkness grew behind me and he wasn't even the slightest bit scared of me, pissing me off even more.

I'm not your pawn anymore.

You can't use me like that.

"Who was my mother? Baghra couldn't even tell me that, so the least you can do as an absentee father is tell me if she's still alive," I demanded, my chest rising and falling with rage.

I don't know how I didn't see it before.

I look just like you.

And I hate it.

"She gave me no choice," He simply replied, monotone as always.

"Did you even love her? Who am I kidding, I'm talking to the man who faked being my brother. She knew what you were doing was wrong. If so many are against you, then shouldn't you know that this is wrong?!" A light mist covered my eyes at the thought of my mother trusting him with her own life, and loving him, but being murdered when he could hide the truth anymore.

I never even got to hear her voice because of you.

"I am doing this for us! So that our people do not have to cower anymore!" He stressed.

"Fear doesn't stop them from being scared. It only makes them hate us even more-"

"Enough!" He screamed at me, causing me to flinch and remember what he did to my mother, he could do to me.

"If I was so important, then why tell everyone I was dead?" I questioned.

"I knew you had crossed the Fold. And the volcra were particularly hungry that month - one even jumped straight out and ate three of my men," He narrowed his eyes at me.

Why would the volcra go outside of the Fold?

"How did you learn to control them?"

I scoffed, "Control them? You really think that's what I did?"

"I suggest you take this more seriously if you want to see your beloved Kaz Brekker alive," He circled me like a vulture before grabbing my wrist, digging his nails in and I winced but decided against lashing out at him incase he truly did have Kaz.

"You aren't lying," He let me go, and I held my wrist in pain.

"You have grown in power since you've left, controlled the volcra, and you still have no idea how much you're capable of."

"But we can fix that," He held his hand out to me.

"We can be all that Ariadne wanted. We can be a family, we can become close and I can finally have the chance to be your father."

That was her name? Ariadne?

It was the first time hearing it.

And it sounded lovely.

But, a family?

A true family?

I hesitated, "and that's what she wanted?"

"More than the world itself, my beautiful Nyx."

And I took his hand.

///
Aleksander is obviously using Nyx, but she's also using him. She'd never trust him, especially after he just dropped the bomb of "Yeah I killed your mom".