Insatiable Habits

The First Night After

A restless night slipped by, the gruellingly extensive hours spent as you bounced between being comforted or comforting. You tried on multiple occasions to get to bed, each time backing away from the door, reigniting the tears - having to retreat to Wanda's shoulder repetitively. The ring on your finger bore a persistent reminder of her absence in your life, yet every time you removed it you found yourself drawn back - pushing it on as you feared losing what little left you had of Natasha. Wanda paced the jet persistently, with short breaks to wipe your tears or her own. She too, could not find slumber. When Steve had finally returned to the jet, you shared a brief moments vulnerability with him. He thanked you for making Natasha happy and reassured you that she will have passed peacefully in your arms. Unfortunately for Steve, the cynic in you found this claim utterly intolerable - though you pushed through a thankful face, knowing he was probably hurting just as much as you right now. After this, he withdrew himself to the cockpit - never leaving - clearly avoiding his own ill emotion.
You didn't pay much attention to the others. As much as you tried to stop yourself, your mind persistently returned to Natasha. She was all you thought about anyway, even before you lost her. 

You arrived back in New York in the early hours of the morning - the sun still un-risen. Wanda helped you up off the floor, tugging you into her shoulder as you waited for Steve to open the jet. Pepper was waiting by the landing pad, her eyes swollen and bloodshot. Her singularity told you that there was still no sign of Tony.
You stepped off the ship and allowed yourself to melt into Pepper's embrace.
"I'm so sorry, sweetheart."
She ran her fingers through your hair, holding her cheek close to your head. You didn't feel the need to elaborate what had happened. Like hers, your aloneness had likely told her where Natasha was. You pulled away as she moved to comfort Steve and the others. As you entered the compound, you asked yourself where you were going to sleep tonight - if you could at all. There was no way you could sleep in your bed, not after it had been shared with Natasha. You wouldn't take Bucky's room either, now that he's gone.
The couch it is, you mumbled to yourself - not realising Wanda had caught up with you.
"You wanna sleep on the couch ?"
You turned to her, noticing the swelling in her eyes and her stained red cheeks.
"No, not really but...I'm not sure I'll sleep anywhere else."
Coming to a halt at the elevator, you pushed the button for your floor, taking a moment to recall what floor Wanda was on before she pressed the key herself.
"Sleep in my room. No memories there to hurt you. I can't have you sleeping on a couch."
The elevator dinged as you both stepped inside, leaning on the bar at the back. Wanda rested her head on your shoulder, leaning into you. Something about Wanda's physicality reminded you insufferably of Natasha. Part of you was pained by it, the other was comforted.
"I don't know if I'd sleep much, Wanda. I wouldn't wanna wake you."
She straightened herself and took your hand, arriving at her floor first.
"I don't sleep anyway. Don't be silly."
She yanked you through the doorway, guiding you through the halls before reaching the door to her room. You were tired. So tired that your eyes were fluttering shut as your feet trudged through the frame. She held you by your waist as you stumbled in, clearly succumbing to fatigue. She pulled the blankets back with her right hand before leading you down with her left, allowing you to sink into the sheets. She pulled them over your shoulder before climbing in next to you - neither of you bothering to fully change, leaving the clothing situation for the morning version of yourself.
She pulled off her jumper, leaving her in just a large t shirt, as she removed her trousers - remaining in only her underwear beneath. She rested her head on your chest as you lay on your back, subconsciously wrapping her in your arms, hugging her into you. You remained asleep as she drifted quickly, dozing against you.

The slumber remained uninterrupted for a few hours, until you shot up, pushing Wanda from you in a cold sweat. You panted heavily into your hands, afraid to turn, hoping you hadn't woken her. You screwed your eyes shut as you whimpered into your palms, as your own subconscious reminded you over and over of Natasha's disappearance. Even as you slept you couldn't escape it. Your despair turned to guilt as you felt Wanda's hand on your back - knowing you'd woken her.
You spoke to her in broken sentence.
"I'm so sorry, Wanda. I didn't mean to wake you I can...go sleep on a couch."
She wrapped her arms round your stomach, moving you close to her as she removed your sweater - leaving you in just a bra.
"Don't be stupid. You're overheating."
She tossed the garment aside and encased herself round you. She turned so that you were positioned between her legs, your back to her, leaning forward. Wanda's arms were round your waist as she rested her cheek on your shoulder, shushing you sweetly, allowing you to weep quietly into your own hands. She clearly wasn't lying in her assurance that you had her.