Soulmate Au Bucky Barnes x F!Reader

1

At age 18 everyone was blessed with the ability to see the song their soulmate shared. So when you turn 18 on August 5th you were more than excited. You couldn't wait till you found the one. You currently had a boyfriend Killian. His name was harsh but he wasn't if anything he was the perfect boyfriend. Telling you no matter what you and he would stay together because he loved you. So when yours and his songs didn't match up your heart broke a little bit. You could've sworn that Killian was the one for you. He had gotten He's a Pirate by Klaus Badeit and you got It's Been a Long, Long Time by Harry James you wondered if the universe could screw up. I mean you and Killian might have been meant to be. He stayed with you even though you both knew that he wasn't happy. So you finally decided to let him go. Let him find his soulmate. It was just your luck that he was your best friend's soulmate. That night you decided it was time for you to try to meet your soulmate. So you played the song. The pleasant melody lulling you to a soft slumber. You could feel your body falling. Soon you the falling feeling stop and you open your eyes. You were in a dimly lit room. The decor seems to be a 1940s aesthetic. You found comfort in it. It seemed homely. A simple fridge in the corner curtain blocking the natural light coming from the window above the sink. You called out "Hello sorry it took so long to come."

There was no reply. Maybe he hadn't had his 18th birthday yet. That was always a possibility. So you waited. Every night for about 2 years you would try and contact him. You had started believing that you didn't have a soulmate. But then how could you have a song on your arm. Then a chilling thought came to your mind. Maybe he was in a relationship and didn't want to be with you. No, he was your soulmate how could he not want to be with you. You and he were destined to be together. It didn't matter you hadn't needed a man before to make you happy so why should you now. Eventually, you just stopped trying. Stopped wondering if your soulmate was out there. You had given up. If he wanted to know you he would have reached out by now.

<~>

Buckys life had not been all sunshine and daisies like he had planned. He had planned to find his soulmate go fight in the war and return to you. That dream was crushed when he realized he didn't have a soulmate. He tried the night of his 18 birthday and months after that. Either you didn't turn 18 for another year or to or you didn't exist. Looking back on it now he was happy that he never found you. He couldn't believe the heartache that you would face if you had found out he had died or if you had found out what he had done. "James," Dr.Raynor's voice cutting through his haze. "James the point of these sessions is to talk out your problems. What's been on your mind?"

He looks down to where he poorly hid the letter etched on his skin.

"Your thinking about her. Aren't you? Why don't you try contacting her?"

"Because what kind of soulmate would I be if one day I show up and say hey so I am alive I do exist but we can't be together cause I killed a bunch of people?"

"Why don't you let her decide that? Why are you taking away her right to know that she at least has a soulmate? What's stopping you from trying?"

Her words made sense but you couldn't let her know that they did. Maybe he did owe it to you that he shows up at least once. So he did. He turned on It's Been a Long, Long Time by Harry James and began drifting off into peace. The familiar feeling of failing is greeted by the scent of his old home. For some reason, he always ended up here. He calls out "Hello" to his surprise someone responds.

<~>

"Hello," an uncertain voice speaks out. His voice is angelic.

"Hey," you step into the natural light. Hoping that maybe he will too.

"Wow, you are even prettier than I could ever imagine." You giggle a little bit.

"You must have been picturing a toad cause that's the only way I would be prettier than you imagined."

"Oh no, I was definitely picturing an angel." He said stepping into the light. He steps with caution as if any moment could be his last. You had seen this before in your father. When he came back from the war. Other than the obvious caution in his step he was quite handsome. He had a little bit of stubble which you didn't mind. His piercing blue eyes made you feel safe. He was all you dreamed of when you thought of the perfect man. HE had a leather jacket and gloves on. A pair of jeans cover his legs while he wears military-style boots. Giving you further evidence he is a vetran.

"Well, you yourself are quite handsome." His features softened. You maybe even saw a small smile.

"I'm sorry it took so long for us to meet. I just don't believe I deserve love after all I have done. So I came here to show you that I exist but I should be leaving."

"Wait-" you cried out before he vanished. Tears stream down your face. As the song ends you are pulled out of the dream.

The next morning you wake up clutching a pillow. Your cheeks were tear-stained. Had last night really happened? You had met your soulmate and he left all in one night. All you wanted was to be in his arms. You had to find him. To show him that he does indeed deserve love.

<~>

He had met you. Like Dr.Raynor suggested but when he saw how beautiful how innocent you were he could let him corrupt you. His heart broke when you called out to him but he couldn't let that get to him. How could he expect you to deal with him let alone love him with the fact that he had killed so many people? You deserved better but his heart and entire body betrayed him. His body was betraying him. He wanted to feel your touch on his skin. To heal all your wounds the ones he had caused and the ones others have caused.

"How did it go?" Dr. Raynor asked

"It went amazing doc. I told her she was better than I could've imagined she told me I was handsome and then I left her there. I left here there to deal with the pain alone. I hurt her like I like hurt everyone else. So maybe your little plan to unite u to helo me didn't work."

"James you have to open up to someone if not your soulmate sam or I find someone because one day you are going to find a challenge you can face alone and you are going to get yourself seriously hurt."

That rung true but he already hurt you would you be there tonight. He hoped you would be. Maybe he could right this wrong before he made it worse.

<~>

You wanted to try again tonight. Try and contact him again against all of your friend's opinions but you had to find him. He was your soulmate. It didn't matter how many times he hurt you. You would always go back. So you put on the song on repeat and felt the feeling of falling. Allowing yourself to feel welcome in the kitchen you always seemed to find yourself in. You walked into the light first and called out "Hello. Listen I know last night you said I deserved better but I don't want better. I want y-"

You were cut off before you could finish "Listen what I said last night I meant. I am not a good guy. I can't explain this feeling. I can't explain the way when I am with you I feel safe. So I am sorry for what I said yesterday but I was hoping we could just meet here for now. I know it may not be what you want but it's all I can handle right now."

"Yes. Please yes, I will take whatever you are offering." You reach out to touch him. He flinches a bit but lets you. You wrapped your arms around his neck and interlaced your fingers hoping he gets the hint you want to dance. He does He carefully wraps his arms around your waist. He is wearing the same outfit as the first time you met him. You didn't mind your mindless start dancing in the kitchen. It's about 2 or 3 minutes later you realize you are now dancing by yourself. You laugh a little at the fact that you were dancing alone. When you pull yourself out of reality.