Never Looking Back

34. I'm Sorry

Chapter 34

I woke up at midnight with the sound of Kayla screaming like crazy. I got up really quick to see what was happening. "It's okay Kayla. It was only a dream." I whispered picking her up from her crib. She looked up at me with her big eyes and put her head on my chest. I brought her over to my room and sat down on the bed leaning on the bed frame. Zayn was peacefully sleeping next to me, I guess he didn't hear her screaming. I felt our little boy move around inside me, and smiled. Kayla ended up falling asleep to me singing. I laid her down in the middle of me and Zayn, and fell asleep.

***

"Mommy wake up!" I heard Elle yell from the door. "Okay. Okay, I'm up." I laughed opening my eyes and standing up. I was feeling sore as hell. My head was throbbing, my feet were swollen, and our little baby was kicking me in the pancreas making me want to pee my pants. "Come mommy!" She yelled grabbing my hand and taking me down stairs where Zayn and Kayla were having the time of their lives making cookies in the kitchen. To my surprise Kayla was actually smiling and giggling, the first time since the accident. "Haha why are you guys making cookies?" I asked taking the spoon and eating a chuck of cookie dough. "Because daddy has a surprise!" She yelled making me smile. Elle was such a bubbly kid. She made me feel jumpy just by looking at her. "Oh really? What's the surprise?"I asked her, but looked over at Zayn who stopped what he was doing and smirked.

"We're staying with grandma!" She yelled spinning around in circles. "We are?" I asked confused. "No Bells. You and Kayla are staying with grandma." Zayn said as Kayla squirmed in his arms. He puts her down on the ground and she came running towards me. I smiled and picked her up. She was such a small child, and quiet. "But I want you and mommy to come!" Elle whined crossing her arms in front of her chest (a new trick she learned). "Come here Bells." Zayn chuckled. She went over to him, he picked her up. "We can't come because mommy's going to have a baby any day." He said pushing Elle's tangled hair out of her face. "I don't wanna go now." She said frowning. "Then where are you going to stay?" I asked picking up the brush that was laying on the couch. "With Uncle Harry." She said as I brushed her hair. "I'm sorry Elle, but your staying with grandma. She wants to see you and Kayla. You can play with your cousins." I said.

*** || 2 days later || ***

Zayn had already taken Elle and Kayla on the flight to England, and came back the next day. I was excited to have Zayn with me this time when I gave birth. We were both watching a movie on the couch when I felt some kicking again. "Zayn. He's kicking again." I smiled. Zayn smiled at me, and I took his hand and put it on my belly. The baby kicked again, and Zayn looked like he was about to cry. "Aww, you look like your about to cry." I said as he took his hand away. "I am." He whispered. "Why? You didn't do anything." I said handing him a tissue. "I didn't right now. But, before I did. I never got to see Elle like this, see her birth, be there for her first birthday, see her take her first steps, or hear her learn to talk...." He cut off and looked me in the eye. "I'm so sorry. I promise to be there for you and all 3 of our children." He said pulling me into a hug. "I love you Zayn. Thank you." I said kissing him. "I love you too." He whispered.