chapter thirty four

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GUYS GUYS GUYS GUYS EXCITING NEWS OMGOMGOMG

IM GOING TO BE ILLUSTRATING FOR A GRAPHIC NOVEL

YES I AM SO EXCITED

FUCK YES

my dreams are coming true i've never been so excited

but JUST YES OH MY GOODNESS

I AM ALSO GONNA BE FEATURED ON THE RADIO FOR A FESTIVAL I AM DOING I DONT KNOW IF IVE MENTIONED THAT OR NOT BUT I AM AND I AM REALLT EXCITED

I CANT WAIT

I HOPE YOU GUYS HAVE HAD A GOOD DAY

reminder i don't read over these chapters

also ‼️ tw! for mentions of neglect ‼️
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tendou's pov

i missed it. i missed it.

bang. bang. bang.

"OPEN UP WAKATOSHI ITS ME SATORI."

i missed her. she left. oh god. oh goodness. oh god damnit. i did didn't i.

wakatoshi-kun opened the door slowly. he was a mess. my heart dropped. "don't you dare wakatoshi." i said as i looked at him. i could feel my heart get smaller.

i had ran as fast as i could here. as fast as my legs would take me. my car had ran out of gas, so unexpectedly. i couldn't have made it in time, even if i had tried as hard as i could.

"tendou i am so sorry." he said. he cried. tears flew from his eyes. "please my god, i-i tried." wakatoshi gasped. "i want her back. i want her here. s-she doesnt even want to be there.." he wailed as he wiped the snot coming from his nose. i looked down. "tendou i tried so-so hard." he shook his head back and forth. "why don't my parents listen! why don't they c-care.." he hiccuped.

i knew how badly wakatoshi was hurting. and i felt horrible for him.

i looked up at him. "i am sorry for you wakatoshi." i spoke. i could only console him."i'm sorry you must deal with this." i pulled him into a hug. a tight one too.

the feeling of losing someone, no matter how hard you tried, even when they was just there, was the most painful thing in the world. losing that person, when they were just in your grasp.

"i am so sorry." i whispered silently. and wakatoshi cried.

i was hurting too.

-
y/n's pov

i wondered if i was going to be okay. surely i would be. right?

my eyes still felt sore. i raised my hand up and touched them. puffy and sensitive.

"do you want to pick your room?" my mother said. i looked over at her. "how many rooms are there?" i didn't want it to be awkward or gloomy the entire car ride.

my mother looked ahead at the road. "nearly three or four i think. i'm not too sure.." she mumbled near the end. i nodded slightly and turned my head towards the window.

i didn't get to say goodbye to tendou. more like he didn't say goodbye to me. i rolled down the window and put my chin on the frame, this way i could feel the wind cover my entire face.

my mom looked back through the mirror. she opened her mouth to say something, but shook the thought away. "i'm not doing this for my personal gain." she told me.

i rolled my eyes. it sure did feel like it. what does she want me to say? 'oh, well, sorry for the misunderstanding. i'd love to forget about the years of neglect you caused me.' ???

"then why did you bring me?" i asked. "because you just took me away from everyone, including wakatoshi." i said to her as i looked over. she sighed. "look..." i rolled my eyes once more."... we've always been distant and i know, but i don't want you to get older and to just forget me." she said a bit concerned.

a bit of her felt pulled to the fact that i never showed any other feelings towards her other than attitude and anger. she felt hurt. and i'm glad she did. she neglected me for years.

"listen y/n, i just..." she sighed. "...i regret the years i didn't spend with you, even when i was around." my mother said as she stopped at a stop light. i couldn't believe what i was hearing. no i mean, actually, i couldn't believe it. she's never came through like this before.

my mother continued to speak, turning back towards me. "i want to have a bond with you." she told me. "not just this— this random one where we yell at each other and then you hate me for the rest of your life, i—..." she turned back and breathed out. "...i don't want that." she said. "not any part of me wants that."

i had started to look out the window. "then why did you do what you did for so many years." i spoke. i bluntly said it out of context but im positive she knew what i was talking about. my mother pushed on the gas and started to speed up once again.

i could see the area around me changing, not just the buildings, but the scenery, the people, everything. the area began to get more grassier and you could see fields upon fields pop up. i smelled the air, 'it smelled of fresh cut grass and rain' i thought to my self.

my mother stayed silent. i'm sure she didn't know what to say, or how to say what she wanted. "i know you want to make things better but you can't act as if you didn't just do anything. you did a lot." i told her. i moved my hands around as i spoke, exaggerating my self. "you neglected not only me, but wakatoshi too, you hated him, and for no reason. just— no reason at all." i told her. "i've just,— i have tried not to hate you but..." i sighed and just gave up. i let my arms fall beside me and shook my head. what am i even doing. why am i trying. "... you know who was there though?" i asked her. there was a faint hum that came from her. she already knew. "wakatoshi." i told her.

a part of me wanted to make her feel bad for every time i needed her. i wanted her to feel the same hurt that she caused me. i'm afraid of trying to fix this relationship between me and my mom because— well, what if she leaves again. what if she neglects me and goes back to her old ways.

"i just.." i started and waved my hand nonchalantly around. "...i need time to, comprehend all of this. it's a bit much to endure within one day." i said quietly. "i appreciate the chat tho, it's lets me have some sort of insight." she gave me a slight nod and looked straight ahead.

maybe i could try with her again. i've always thought of it. i'm not sure tho, i kinda always have this thought that like, "we only live once so i don't want to not have a mom" it's always there, but is that even reliable???

i let a deep breath come out of me. this is so excruciating. why do i have to be the one with issues. i'm still just a kid. i've just started life.

it's all going by so fast.

too fast.

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hello? *tap**tap* hello....? is this thing on?

ah yes. hellOOOOO my extraordinarily well worth readers!

i hope you've been well. it's finals week!!

you guys are doing amazing, for the fellows amongst us who are doing finals!

anyways good luck! you are all very loved and i am so proud of you:)) i love you all!!!
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word count: 1292

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