The boy with the blue eyes

Feb. 27, 2015

Zach,
I'm not sure what to say anymore. I love you, that's the only reminder I can give you it seems. I miss seeing you. I miss your touch and your lips on mine. I wish we could run away together but we have a baby now.
There are so many things I wish I could change. I wish I could be there for you more. I used to wish I could've made it special for you when we made love for the first time but thinking about it... I wouldn't change a thing. I wish you'd talk to me about your feelings, I know this is all really hard for you. I know you're struggling in school and that's ok. No one should expect you to act like nothing is going on in your life, I'm sorry if I expected that. I don't know how anyone could expect you to be ok.
If you fail, you can do summer school to help you graduate, I will help and support you as much as I can. I promise.

I know you were taught to not cry or show feelings but that's not who you have to be, you can be yourself.

I want you to be able to do whatever you want in life. I love you. I am willing to do whatever it takes to make sure you are happy.

I don't need you to worry about me being happy. You don't need to worry about me at all. I don't mind if people talk about me or if I have no future. I've avoided all the comments and whispers until today and it kind of hit me hard, considering.

It's ok though, I don't handle things like this well but I'm adjusting. I'm learning how to be happy. And I'm going to make sure that you're happy too. When baby comes, I'll make sure he's happy also.

Everything is going to be ok.