like i need you ||oisuga||

¹⁵

sugawara won't even lie. he did have an internal breakdown as soon as he entered the house.

being in the same room as oikawa for a long time was harder that he thought. his eyes kept diverting to oikawa's seat again and again, head filled with whether oikawa would approach him or not.

he hated how admirable oikawa was. the way he had gotten taller than what he was in his first year, his hair, his shoulders were broader and sugawara's really couldn't stop thinking about resting his head on that damn thing.

being in love sucked. really.

it was worse when he was still in love with the first person he dated. 

and two years after their break up, sugawara's feelings never changed. they probably grew- gosh he hoping for too much. he was being selfish. he knew it damn well. but he still wanted oikawa.

but a part of him was scared. he was terrified to be treated as burden again. as someone's or more specifically oikawa's last choice. and the worst one out of them being.

what if oikawa was straight?

sugawara was damn sure he might be. as mentioned before, oikawa did leave him for a girl.

sugawara really wanted to go back to karasuno. sitting beside daichi in class was so much better. having asahi, michimiya and aihara was always fun during lunch. kiyoko joined a few times too.
and volleyball practice? god sugawara never in his life missed the loudness those four idiots caused in the gym as much as he did now.

and due to all those reasons and alot of overthinking since yesterday, sugawara was currently in the washroom. the last stall- locked with him sitting on the ground his head buried in his knees, arms wrapped around his head in a protective manner.

nope he wasn't skipping class. they happened to have a free period and he slipped out of the class right after. he doesn't even remember how long has it been. but he really hoped it wasn't long. he'd have to get out of.

sugawara felt sick at how he had a hard time when it came to crying. he either let out a damn ocean or was dry as the desert. that's it. there was no between.

his arms felt itchy, his breathe was shaky and chest hurt alot, he could feel himself panting.

his right hand shifted to his shirt, squeezing it in a way to ease the pain. it didn't work and sugawara couldn't help but whimper.

can he just cry and get over it already?

just then a knock ran through sugawara's ear and he swore he thought he was hallucinating till he heard a voice.

"koushi? you're in there right?"

--

whenever oikawa saw sugawara, he always felt guilt spread through his body. as someone who had been through sugawara's high and lows and all sorts of mood swings.

oikawa could easily read sugawara and he just knew the silver haired wasn't doing well.

being able to see sugawara everyday was something oikawa wished as a first year yet couldn't have it. and now that he did. he was beyond happy about it.

but it just felt off today. today was the second day of school for sugawara and oikawa doubted the boy would come. surprisingly he did show up, that's when oikawa had noticed his dark circles.

he still stays awake at night doesn't he?

he saw the weak smile sugawara had given sakura as a greeting. those very sloppy yet charming smiles to the classmates who greeted him as well.