like i need you ||oisuga||

¹⁶

when sugawara was pulled into oikawa's embrace, he couldn't hold back.

not when oikawa was there, whispering comforting words, running his fingers through his hair, holding him in the way he wanted to be held.

it seemed like a dream.

maybe it was a dream.

why would oikawa be concerned about him anyway? he has no reason to be. he was only concerned about sugawara in his dreams.

those dreams which made him wake up all happy, warm and fuzzy only for reality to hit him in the face reminding him they weren't a thing anymore.

sugawara hoped he won't wake up soon this time, it felt so real that it made him not want to leave forever. he wanted to stay where he was, not moving anywhere away from where he was.

in the comfort of someone he loved. it wasn't too much to ask. or was it?

"-looked so down in class, it- it reminded me of the time when you-"

sugawara opened his eyes, looking up to the person standing infront of him.

he blinked. 

one.

twice.

looked down to where their shoes were almost touching.

and back up to the person's face.

eyes wide in terror this time.

this wasn't the tooru that showed up in his dreams. the tooru that showed up in his dreams was the one he was dating years ago.

the one who was almost the same height as sugawara during their third year of middle school.

it wasn't the 16 year old oikawa standing in front of him this time, sugawara came to realise he wasn't back to the age of 16 either.

this wasn't a dream. they were always 16 in his dreams.

an uncomfortable feeling filled sugawara's body as he stared into oikawa's eyes. oikawa was staring right back at him. confused, hesitant.

the hands that were clutching oikawa's sweater as if his life depended on it slowly loosened, shaking as they backed away.

"why are you here?" sugawara wanted to yell at him. scream at him for showing up like that. but his voice was stuck in his throat. it came out as a whisper.

"you're not supposed to be here" he spoke louder this time. more coldly that he intended it to be.

"kou-"

"don't" sugawara stopped him immediately. not wanting any sort of explanation. "don't call me that. don't talk to me either. don't look at me. don't- just- just don't. act like i'm not here, don't come for me again, please. i beg you. get out"

don't give me hope anymore.

sugawara exhaled. trying his best to stop the shudder that ran through his body.

"i'm turning around. please leave in the next five seconds" he knew it sounded harsh. it hurt him to speak like that. the guilt was building in super fast.

he heard the door open. there was a pause, yet no words were exchanged.

once he felt the door close behind him, his fingers reached out instantly to lock it.

he wasn't letting anyone enter again

--

sugawara didn't attend school the next day. he didn't show up the whole week.