After a few weeks of trial and error, Sally was able to relax around Toni. The girls ended up spending most of their evenings together and soon Maya began to invite Sally to their family dinners. The only difference between these "family dinners" and the dinners Sally usually ate at their house was that they were eaten at the kitchen table rather than in front of the TV.
These dinners were great fun but the word 'family' made Sally's urge to blot, almost unmanageable. She was not a part of their family and pretending like she was, just made things worse. Even the word made her flinch. It was too good to be true. Surely, no one could like her that much.Late one night, after one of those 'family dinners', Toni turned to Maya and said, "It's Gran's birthday next week." Sally's ears burned. What did that mean?
"Yeah, I know,"replied May as she stared at her empty plate."Well, do you still want to go then?" Asked Toni. Go where? Thought Sally. Their grandma had never been brought up like this before. Her heart raced. Should she ask a question or disappear into the background? Quickly she stole a glance at Maya. Her face was sad but there was also something else there that Sally could not put her finger on.
"I do want to go," said Maya, "But, do you think we should ask Mum?"
Toni shook her head, "There's no point. You know what she's like. She will bring him and they will probably spend the whole day talking about crystals and chakras."
Maya pursed her lips together. On the surface, she just looked pissed off but Sally knew her tightened lips held back tears.At that moment, she wished she could have done something subtle. Something effortlessly kind, like the way Maya had slipped her that bar of chocolate but Sally did not know how to be subtle, she had not been taught the rules. Her expertise was limited to the extreme, so she sat quietly, pretending to be none the wiser.
Maya lowered her eyes for a moment and then turned to Sally, "Do you want to come?"
"Yeah!" Sally nodded sitting up straight, eyes wide.Toni snorted, "Well someones keen."
Sally blushed and backtracked clumsily, "I mean, come where?"
"We sit on a bench and talk about our gran," said Toni, her eyes piercing into Sally, "It's a tradition we started after she died."
Sally swallowed, that was her ultimate worst nightmare. Too close, far too close.
"You really don't have to," Maya smiled."No, no," Sally beamed back, shaking her head, "I would love to come."
Maya's eyes lit up, "Really.""Yeah definitely," said Sally.
"Aw thanks, Sally, I really appreciate it. It's so much nicer when it's more than just the two of us."
"No thank you, it's an honour."
To this Toni snorted again, "Oh, it's honour is it?" Sally blushed again and pinched herself under the table. Why was she acting like such an idiot?For the rest of the week, Sally regretted those words, dreaming up every excuse under the sun, but nothing could justify missing something so important. An invitation such as this was a huge compliment and she should have been flattered, but the thought of being a part of something so intimate made her want to throw up.
Sally was already the odd one out and could only imagine how those feelings would quadruple at such a sensitive moment. Why hadn't Clyde been invited? He was their friend too; surely he was a better candidate. Sally wanted to speak to him about it but did not know if she should broach the subject or not. Maya had never mentioned her gran at work. Did that mean it was a secret? Should she croon over her or go along as if nothing was happening? It was all too much, far too much.
Towards the end of her shift one night, Clyde came behind the bar to fix one of the taps. Instantly, idiotic sentence, after idiotic sentence, churned though her mind until Clyde cracked his neck up towards her and asked, "What you up to this weekend, Sal?"
Thank god, thought Sally."I am going to Peckham Common with Toni and Maya," she said hoping he would take the hint.
YOU ARE READING
The Fuzzy End of the Lollipop
General FictionSally is tired of getting the fuzzy end of the lollipop and is determined to leave home for the second time. The first time was a disaster. Two weeks after her eighteenth birthday she jumped headfirst into the Berlin party scene, full of disco dream...