The Fuzzy End of the Lollipop

The Fuzzy End of the Lollipop, Chapter Fourteen:

Sally
Hey, what time are we meeting today? (Seen)

Sally
Hey, I finish work at five-thirty, can meet you anytime after that. (Seen)

Sally
Hey, just finished work. (Seen)

Sally
Hey, I am not sure if my messages are getting through but free when you are. (Seen)

Sally
Are you ok? (Seen)

Sally
Tomas? (Seen)

Sally stayed up all night waiting for a response, but it never came. She tried to be strict with herself, repeating the same phrase over and over again; you will never hear from him, he did not like you, he did not want you, just get over it, but of course this did not help. It only made things worse. Each date was dragged back up to the surface and anything that could be used to explain his disappearance was dissected and examined.

She should have never have spoken about her family, she should never have made him see that stupid film and spending the night with him was the worst decision of her life. But no matter how many times she chastised herself, it never stopped the yearning she had for him.
On her day off Sally wandered the busy streets alone while Bjorn and Benny attempted to sew up pieces of her broken heart, but they did not stand a chance. Sally's heart had been broken well before Tomas and it would take a lot more than the words to 'The Winner Takes It All' to piece them back together again.

After walking aimlessly for hours, Sally found herself in a park. The green space looked alien next to the busy East London streets, as though it had appeared just for her. She sat down on the grass and took off her shoes and let the cool, damp blades entwine around her toes. As she sat there, she imagined the version of Tomas she had constructed in her head. The sexy dark European who had somehow, against all the odds, fallen for her. The loss of the imaginary life they could have shared made fat unabashed tears run down her face and pool into her collarbone. She hated every single one of those tears, all of them proving how pathetic she was, but the hate did not stop her longing to be comforted.

Taking her phone out of her pocket she called her mum.

"Hi Sal, It's so nice to hear from you. I have been watching Million Dollar Listings, there is this guy, you will never believe –"

"Mum," choked Sally.

"Oh, are you alright?"

"It did not work out with me and that Tomas guy, he... he hasn't replied to my texts and, and ..."

"Oh, that's such a shame."

"I am just so sad, I can't believe it didn't work out with another one."

"Oh Sally, not everyone can like you. These things happen. I had such a bad day at work yesterday. I had to –"

"Mum!" Sally shouted. "I am dying here!. "Please just give me a bit of sympathy. I am really hurting."

"Well, yes Sally, I know it must be very hard for you but it has happened and now we need to get over it."

"Mum, I just want you to say it's shit."

"It is shit."

"No! I want you to be with me on this."

"Well, I can't be with you, you're in London and I am here!"

"No," Sally moaned, "That's not what I mean, I just want you to... ahh forget it," and she hung up.

Sally put her headphones back on and blasted Abba into her ears. "So when you're near me, darling can't you hear me, S.O.S. The love you gave me, nothing else can save me, S.O.S."Of course, she had been heartbroken before and knew all the symptoms would fade with time but there was no way of knowing how long that would be. It had taken years to get over Him and that had been the worst kind of sickness.

This time was different. She had barely known Tomas and had no time to fall in love with him but the ambiguity of their ending made letting go seem impossible. Why couldn't he have been honest with her? It would have stung more but at least she would have known for sure. Now all she had was this ridiculous hope which she hated far more than any kind of sadness.

That evening Maya called.

"Hey girl, did you meet up with Tomas in the end?"

Sally bit her lip, she couldn't tell Maya the truth, not yet. "Yeah, he was in a meeting," lied Sally.