SHOOTER// KTH ff

43

Hey guys here are some suicidal thoughts mentioned and almost all of this chapter is pretty dark so if you can't handle this, or you yourself are suffering from depression, self-harm, suicidal thoughts please leave this chapter out and take care :)

Remember that there is always somewhere someone who loves you <3

--nooramoona

Taehyung POV

"TAE STOP! TAE YOU'RE HURTING YOURSELF!" Hobi was standing next to Taehyung and was trying to get his dear friend away from the kitchen. 

Taehyung had tore the many cabinets open and had thrown one tableware after the other around in the room. His hands were bleeding from the shards that had cut through his skin. 

"Tae please stop!" Hobi tried it again  but a bit more careful. Namjoon had tried to calm Tae firstly but he ran away as he got a glass thrown at him. 

Taehyung was a mess. Crying, red eyes, ruffled hair and yelling things that the others didn't fully understand. "I should've known!" He sobbed and threw a plate on the wall. "They will kill her! I'm so so so stupid and...I HATE MYSELF!" He kicked a chair. 

"Tae calm down. You have to calm down otherwise you will get a panic attack." Hibi approached him and tried to get a plate out of his hand. "Calm down please." He said calmly and then he made Taehyung sit down with him. 

The ladder was panting and crying and shivering all at the same time. As they finally sat on the ground, surrounded by the mess Taehyung had made Tae fell into Hobi's embrace. 

"She is gone.." He sobbed. "And it's all my fault." He hid his face in his hands. "I let her go a second time and this time I even almost shot her!" A short pause of sobbing followed. "What kind of boyfriend am I?"

"Tae stop please. You can't give all the fault to yourself. We all are at fault. We all let our guard down." Hobi reached to Taehyungs head and caressed his hair. 

"But I'm her boyfriend!" He sobbed louder. "I am still a monster. This is just the way of god telling me that I never would deserve anyone like her." 

J-hope almost started crying too as he heard the self-destructing words of his friend. "Stop saying that, you are not a monster." Taehyung looked at him. "But I could've killed her."

"But you didn't, and you didn't know that she was there. We all thought she was on the toilet."

"B-But-"

"Shh... we'll find a way to bring her back." J-hope reassured his friend but he himself knew that to all of his knowledge Soo Yun could already be dead meat. 

"I'll find her. I'll find her alive and I'll find her and kill all those bastards. I'll kill them with my bare hands." Taehyung said through his gritted teeth.

Jungkook stuck his head into the kitchen and was baffled by the mess. Of course he had heard the yelling and the clattering. But the picture in front of him made his eyes sting. A broken Taehyung on the ground sobbing and the leader trying to maintain some kind of courage while looking at his broken friend.

Jungkook walked to his friends and came to hug his friend. "We'll find her Tae. I'll come with you to the end of the world to find her." Taehyung looked up and saw the reassuring eyes of his younger friend.

"If she's dead I don't want to live." Taehyung said quietly. "I don't think I can." He sobbed again.

Jungkook hugged his Hyung with such love like he never did before. He himself started crying. "Tae we all love you we all need you to stay alive." Jungkook gulped down his tears. "And Soo Yun needs you to stay alive for her. She wouldn't want you to give up or hurt yourself."

Taehyung nodded. "I'll try."

The boys stood in this position for almost the whole night. The other guys remained silent as they already went on to work on finding Soo Yun. Yoongi had ordered them to work hard. 

To him, Soo Yun was like a little sister and he knew that he had to try his best. This was probably his hardest case he ever had to face.

Namjoon was a mess too. He hid himself behind a computer as he helped Yoongi but all he really did was crying and worrying. 

How was it that seven mafia gang members that seemed to not care about any lives only a few months ago now cried about a single girl leaving them. A single life that was threatened, that seemed to be nothing for them back then. But now, it was the whole world, especially for two of them. 

She was the whole world. They took her away and it felt for Taehyung like he never had less possessions in life than now. Now he got robbed his love of his life and she took his heart with her. 

Not that he was angry at her. He would give it to her over and over again when asked. 

The night settled like a black curtain over the mansion as it hid all the beauty of the day. Small bright dots gleamed through the black coat as they gave the hope to Taehyung that somewhere up there, the helicopter with his love inside was still flying through the cold wind.

What if she was dead already? What if she was one of the stars up there. Smiling down at him as she let him grieve on his own. Or maybe they would cry together through the night. And if time would come he would become a star up there too. 

Altlast he would be nearer to her as a star up there. Nearer to heavens. Nearer to his angel. 

But what he didn't know was that his angel was alive. Alive but going through a change. Soon his angel would not be an angel anymore. 

We all know from the angel that has fallen. And in the moment where Taehyung was looking up to the glistening stars his angel has gotten torn off  her wings and was falling deeper and deeper into the darkness of the night.

She still was an angel by heart, but to keep on surviving she had to adjust to her new life that threatened her.

- nooramoona

24.05.2021