Flying Solo

Chapter 1 - Poppy Seeds

October 3rd 2013.

The day everything changed for 21 year old Jordan.

Always the life of the party and the kind and loyal friend to everyone, she knew that although she could still be that person the future had a few twists for her to navigate.

As she looked at the small piece of white plastic, the timer on her phone set for 2 minutes and the hour glass spinning on the tiny screen in front of her, she knew her life was about to change for good.

Her fling all those weeks ago at her friends party weeks ago was pretty forgettable, the guy was nothing special. That was all irrelevant when she saw the small screen that held the fate of the rest of her life.

Pregnant 3+ weeks

She knew it was coming. Her lack of cramps and headaches that usually signalled her impending period were no where to be found. Seeing the results only cemented her belief.

Her first thoughts were how she would cope on her own. Jordan lived with her mother, father and brother. Staying wouldn't be an option now.

She was starting to panic. Would her parents help her? They were usually understanding and supportive but that didn't stop the doubt from taking over Jordans thoughts.

What would she do about work? The cafe that employs her have to keep her job open for her because it's the law but once shes had holiday days and paid maternity leave for 6 months would she want to go back?

If she wanted to go back to work, how would she afford child care? She already has a car and thankfully to her it was fairly new but once her little bu dle was here how would she afford to keep that running?

The one thing Jordan could say for definite was that she would not being getting rid of this gift. She may be young, her life might be upside down because of it all but theres no way she would even consider giving up this child.

Even if at this very moment in time the only recognition she has of it is a digital screen, her love was already greater than anything she had ever known before.

Jordan knew with every fibre of her being that she would protect this life with so much fervour it would terrify even a mountain lion.

She had contemplated telling the guy who she had sex with that this was his child but upon further thought decided to wait until she had proof in the form of an ultrasound picture.

She would leave the choice of whether he wanted to be involved or not to him but when he had been the one to lie about using protection, she was offering no choice as to whether she keeps it or not.

Jordan had already been tested for any infections after this one night as a preventative measure but it had completely slipped her mind to get the morning after pill. She had been relying on her pill to do its job.

Unfortunately she was now in the 1 percent ineffective bracket that came with her chosen prescription.

A mountain of things still had to be done but they would have to wait until the end of her shift at Susie's cafe.

Debating whether or not to tell her boss, Susie, Jordan walked into work as if nothing was bothering her. As if she hadn't just received life altering news.

With her mouse brown hair typed up into a high pony tail and her usual black work leggings and comfy shirt clad body she weaved her way towards the make shift staff room at the back of the cafe.

Susie was a wonderful woman. She carried an aura that seemed fitting of a doting grandmother and after Jordan's own had passed a few years prior the two became close. Often with Susie being the one Jordan confided in instead of her parents.

Despite not feeling any differently physically, Jordan knew she would have to be more careful with regards to lifting. The information telling her this had come from a quick search on the internet.

She was hoping to get away with not telling her for a while or at least until she had either a blood text letter with confirmation or the scan of her newest love.

That was proving difficult when she heard Susie call to her to lift the deliveries in. It just so happened that today's delivery was all the baking materials and Susie loved to bulk buy.

15kg of flour. 15kg of sugar.

Jordan would have been able to lift them had it been yesterday when she was oblivious but today she was knowing. Today, if she lifted them she would be knowingly putting her body at risk and so she knew a difficult conversation was to come.

She held a little bit of guilt within herself because prior to today she had been out for drinks with a friend. She had a few glasses of wine with dinner with her parents but she was blissfully unaware.

Jordan knew that there was the potential for it but she wouldn't believe it until she saw the test results. Now that she was fully aware of the the life she was carrying, all that changed.

It took a few minutes but she managed to pluck up the courage to talk to Susie. This will be the first time she is saying out loud what was happening to her.

She knew this conversation would be hard on herself but Susie is the kind of woman who wouldn't judge you or wouldn't get angry with you. It was more than likely that Susie would be telling her to sit down and rest.

"Hey Susie can I talk to you for a second?" Jordan's once strong and confident voice had been lost in the swarm of butterflies currently taking over her stomach.

"Sure honey, what's up? Do you need help?" Susies chipper voice comforted Jordan in a way she would never understand. This was a huge help in calming her apprehensions when tell her the news.

"Er, kind of yeh, I, um. I need to tell you something but I havent told anyone else and I'm only telling you because it's my job and I really love working her and I don't want-"

Susie interupted Jordan's nervous rambling by putting her hands on her shoulders and giving them a gentle squeeze before saying, "Breathe sweetie, tell me when you're ready."

"I'm pregnant." She had to blurt it out. If she didn't, she would have kept the secret for a long time or at least until she physically couldn't anymore.

"That's great news. I'm so happy for you. We are happy right?" She had to ask. She had known Jordan since she was a 16 year old high schooler so she knew all too well the games her mind was giving her right now.

Susie had children and grandchildren of her own but she always considered Jordan part of the family. Hearing this news made her ecstatic for Jordan. Beneath the excitement though was an understanding that she knew how much help she would need.

Susie was more than willing to give her the help but she knew Jordan was a stubborn young woman and would refuse it unless she forced it upon her.

"Yeh, I think. I'm not sure. Susie I'm scared." Jordan's voice was timid and shy, a far cry from her usual self which was something Susie had picked up on easily.

"Its okay to be scared honey. We all were at first. Youre going to just perfect though, I can feel it. Right, Im going to call Mason to lift these big ass bags. Probably should have done that years ago. You lovely girl are going to resume as if nothing has changed okay? As far as being careful because of that little muffin your baking goes we will take the issues as they arrive got it?"

The eye contact Susie was giving to Jordan almost intimidated her but she was able to see the sincerity in her eyes.

Despite the nerves that bubbled up when she saw the test results this morning. The rest of the day helped her overcome her fears.

One person had been told and even though it lifted a small weight off of Jordans shoulders. There was still a lot more that needed to be done before she eas trult prepared.