Silver Eyes Chronicles: The Journey Begins Trilogy: Book One: The Reunion

Chapter Twenty-Six: Behind the Waterfall

Naria

The next morning, we eat in silence. Elebeni keeps shooting concerned looks at me. I look away, keeping Ronan's hand locked with mine. Arsain keeps his eyes straight ahead, his hands grasping his bow, an arrow against the string, guarding us. Helene hasn't returned, so I know that she's still about, gathering allies and doing her offered spy work. Ronan sits beside me, quiet as water beneath a sheet of ice.

I know my words from last night are repeating themselves in him. Finally, Elebeni can bear no more. She comes and sits beside me. "Naria?"

I turn and look at her.

She senses that something is wrong. "My dear Naria. I can see it in your eyes. Remember that you are not alone. We're in this together."

I nod, but feel no comfort even though they should have been. I see that on the elf's concerned face that she realizes that her words have not worked.

When it's time to go, I try to put on a brave face. I slip on the bow and quiver of arrows onto my back. I pull my hood up, hiding my face. Without a backward look, I follow Elebeni with Ronan right beside me and Arsain acting as a rearguard.

This guarding thing, I've come to realize is mostly for my benefit. While I'm grateful for the help, I can't help but feel irritated too. I know I can take care of myself. I've done plenty of that when I was growing up. I've managed to get Kirena from trying to take her own life, though now, the chances of her survival are slim. That old feeling gets the better of me when I think of what I've done.

Kirena has been hurt. She's almost gotten killed because of me. She's forgiven me. But I don't know if I can even begin to forgive myself for what I've done. I shake my head at myself.

I'm being stupid, irrational, even. What's done is done. There's nothing I can do to change the past. The problem is no matter how much it seems impossible, I want to change it, no matter what.

I want Kirena back. I want to go home. I want my old life back. I want my parents back, whoever they are to me.

Seeing their faces, alive and merry, then smashed onto rough sticks, their eyes full of glazed shock and terror, the light gone forever. I have seen that same light in my sister's violet eyes that have faded and died when that same misfortune occurred. I remember the light of spirit come into her eyes whenever she saw me. I wonder if that light is out once again. I know that my eyes are full of that same sorrow, perhaps a bit more, though, along with other emotions that I can't or refuse to recognize.

But Elebeni's right. I'm not alone. What she doesn't understand is how much I feel like I'm alone. I feel more alone than before even though I have had a loving family. But they got taken away from me; my adoptive parents brutally murdered and my sister, who I don't know if she's going to make it out alive or not.

Everything that has been happening over the past months, beat down at me; the despair, the anger and the guilt. Those feelings hang like a heavy jagged chain on my heart that cut me open, making me bleed heavily. No matter how many times I try to lift that burdening chain, it just gets heavier and heavier as the days pass.

The brooding continues on as we put the forest behind us. We pass a small river, the water flowing and crashing over smooth stones. I hear the sound of a waterfall and we stop to eat here. We take our lunch at the edge of the river, the huge waterfall off to one side.

I look up at the towering wall of water, feeling a sense of intrigue. I see a faint rainbow in the clear falling streams. While no one is watching, I go up to the waterfall and seeing a side pass that's behind the falling sheet, I step into it. There's a small crop of smooth rocks, perfect to sit and think. I sit down and remove my boots, wanting to feel the rock beneath my feet. I pull my knees to my chest, curling my bare toes. I lean my head against my knees, hiding my face. I feel my clothes getting damp, but I don't care.