secrets || h.s.

fourteen

^^HE'S SO CUTE WTF

Emily's POV

I woke up at nine, and mentally thanked myself for pretending to be sick.

Then I remembered why I did it, and I suddenly felt horrible again. I sighed and got up. I grabbed some food in the kitchen and got no questions from my dad, because he doesn't really care about what I do.

I'd be lying if I said I didn't pull out a notebook and wrote lists of things I like about them.

Liam:
•sweet
•kind
•genuine
•generous
•hot
•he really likes me

Harry:
•mysterious
•nice
•caring
•good listener
•nice smile
•gorgeous eyes
•funny
•have a lot of fun with him
•childish but still mature
•cute
•hot
•contagious laugh
•I think he likes me
•I did meet him first
•wow I fucked up

I shook my head as I looked at the difference in the lengths of the list. I really messed up. I should've waited on Harry instead of saying yes to Liam. And Liam hasn't done anything wrong. That's the thing. He's too perfect. Harry is mysterious, but he also makes me laugh and hanging out with him is the most fun I ever have. A relationship with Liam is just the same thing over again. Harry is exciting to me, and seeing him fills me with adrenaline every time.

How could I break up with Liam, though? He's so sweet and I'm trying to be more like him, and less sarcastic. Liam really likes me, and I do like him of course. I just don't really feel a good connection between us, and it gets awkward sometimes.

Maybe I should call him up in a couple of days and just ask to talk about us? I feel like that would be deceiving, like trying to talk him into breaking up with me.

And then what, I run to Harry ten minutes after Liam is gone? How will that make him feel? Yeah, awful.

I scrunched up my hair in my hands and groaned out loud, falling onto my pillow.

From Liam:
Hey Em! hope you're feeling better, beautiful!!

He really isn't helping my problem, here. It reminds me of that old Hannah Montana episode when she is choosing between the two guys. And who does she go with?

The guy she met first.

But I am not using an old kids show to make my life decisions. I would hate myself if I did that. Also, that song she wrote during that episode was fucking annoying.

From Harry:
Liam said you were sick but you seemed fine. Did I say something? I'm so sorry if I upset you.

I groaned again, almost throwing my phone across the room.

To Liam:
I'm feeling a bit better. Didn't want to get you sick though xx

I sent it and then tried to figure out what to say to Harry.

To Harry:
No it just came on all of the sudden. It's fine, you're fine, we're fine.

From Harry:
Emily I just saw you yesterday. Nothing comes on suddenly, it builds up. you're not fine and Liam is at my house right now talking about how bad he feels for you.

To Harry:
Fine. I'm mad at myself, and I just couldn't see him tonight, are we done interrogating me?

From Harry:
I'm sorry if I said anything to make you mad at yourself

I didn't know how to reply and it actually took me a couple minutes to muster up the courage to send what I was about to say.

To Harry:
No Harry, I'm mad at myself because of my actions. I just realized it now but I think that I said yes to Liam just to make you jealous. Fine, I said it.

And then the replies stopped and I sighed, shutting my phone off and trying to find a way to distract myself from all of this.

--
ah yay a quick update. I barely got 100 reads on the last chapter but I decided to publish more anyway!! :)

-megan