secrets || h.s.

nineteen

Emily's POV

"So what does this mean?" I asked, twenty minutes later. We were just sitting there, my head on his shoulder and his arm around me.

"It means that I want to try to be with you without messing it up." He mumbled quietly, afraid of talking loudly and confidently.

"Look at me." I said, when I picked my head up and saw his worried eyes looking forwards.

"You're not going to mess this up Harry. If I thought you would, I wouldn't want to do this. But I do. I really like you. The confident you." I said, once he looked me in the eyes.

And then he whispered something. It was so quiet that it was almost inaudible. And I could've sworn he said, "If only you knew."

✕

Nothing else happened after that. Just an awkward goodbye. But it was because something else happened.

My mom texted me. She told me the hotel she was staying in, and she told me to come see her tomorrow after school. I was kind of nervous for it, but why would I be? It's just my mom, right? I didn't mention it to my dad, then again, I don't tell him anything that I do these days.

I changed out of my clothes into my lazy clothes, then requested Hannah for skype.

She picked up, but I saw Niall's face. "Um, hi?" I said, with a small smile on my face. I missed talking to him. He's such a sweet guy, and he's so funny and he brightens up my day, everyday.

"Hi Emily. Hannah is in the shower right now." He said, awkwardly.

"Oh, okay. Would you mind staying with me until she's out?" I asked, taking a risk. I know he's mad at me, but I can't blame him. I hurt his best friend.

"I was planning on it. We need to talk." He said, putting a pillow behind him and getting comfortable.

"Uh oh, I'm in trouble." I said, trying to lighten the mood. He smiled a little bit, then started talking.

"Why did you use Liam to get to Harry? You met Liam first, how could you-"

"Woah, woah, woah, pause." I said, getting ready to correct his false information. "I did in fact meet Harry first."

"Oh. Okay, how?" He asked.

I was stuck. I don't want to explain to Niall what I'm going through. I don't want his sympathy to get our friendship back, I want him to truly to forgive me.

"Well, I had family problems going on. And it got bad one night so I went out on a walk. And as you know, Harry and I live in the same neighborhood so he ran into me. Not literally, he kinda just realized something was wrong and let me talk to him about it. Just talking to him felt really good to get it off of my chest and I felt like I could trust him. We like instantly connected while talking about this. We met several times after that, and he checked up on me to see how I was doing, so we kind of bonded I guess. Then Hannah invited me to your double date, and Liam and I got along. I thought we would be friends, but then he kissed me and it was kind of an awkward situation for me. Harry and I went on a date after that. But I didn't think that he considered it a date, so I said yes to Liam. It was kind of like therapy for me because I didn't think the guy I really liked, liked me back. Then I realized what I was doing to Liam, and I also found out that Harry did like me the whole time and did consider it a date and now a lot of people hate me." I finished, taking a deep breath.

"I don't hate you. I'm supposed to. But I don't." He said, taking a sip from his water bottle.

"Really?" I said, kind of surprised. I thought he would say that it was all no excuse, but he didn't.

"Why didn't you think it was a real date? You and Harry, I mean."

"I don't know. He looked like he was going to kiss me after but then he didn't. He seemed like he was hiding something from me." I said. I noticed a bit of realization in his eyes but he covered it up. "He is hiding something, and you know." I said, busting him.

"No I don't! He's a very open guy, Emily. If he likes a girl he will open up to her."

"So you're saying he doesn't like me? Since he's not opening up to me?" I asked.

"No! I'm saying he likes you, so he wouldn't hide anything from you." He said, allowing me to feel a bit of relief.

"It was weird because we kissed again tonight and he was saying things like he didn't want to mess us up or hurt me or anything. Do you know what all of that's about?" I asked, feeling weird about getting relationship advice from the guys I like's friend.

"Yeah. His last relationship...it ended badly." He answered.

"Like what?" I asked.

"Let's just say, she left him. And he realized she didn't feel the same way that he felt about her. He thought it was all his fault." He said, and he seemed like he was trying to find the words.

"The thing is, I know how he feels. My last- uh, one of my last boyfriends cheated on me. I thought it was my fault and then just realized he was a dick. I tried to tell Harry that, but he seemed to think his was worse I guess." I said, and I almost forgot that Liam was my last boyfriend, but I caught myself.

"Well, I'll talk to him if you want?" He said.

"Really? But wouldn't that be like dis honoring the 'brocode' with Liam?" I said, using air quotes.

"No, Liam's been kind of a jerk lately. I think you pissed him off." He said.

"Oh." I said, feeling bad.

"Don't feel bad. I tried to explain to him that you only dated for like a week so he shouldn't be that upset, and he almost punched me in the face."

"Yeah he's doing that a lot lately." I said.

"He punched you?" He exclaimed.

"No! He punched Harry." I said, laughing at his outburst.

"Oh," He said, taking a breath "You gave me a heart attack."

"Niall? Who are you talking to?" Hannah called in from the other room.

"Emily! She called to talk to you." He yelled back to her.

"Can it wait? I'm having a hair crisis! I put the wrong shampoo in and it looks horrible!" She whined, and I concealed my laughter.

"Oh come on babe, it's all shampoo!" He yelled back to her.

"Oh shut up. You don't know how it is!"

"Yes I do! How do you think this beautiful hair looks how it does everyday?" He said, flipping his hair even though she couldn't see.

"Fuck off." She yelled back.

"I better go before the cat claws come out and before my computer dies." I said, giggling.

"I'll text you about the Harry thing, okay?"

"Okay. Thank you for forgiving me." I said, right before my computer died.

✕
I put in some more Niall and Hannah stuff because that's what you guys wanted!!

Comment and vote for more!!

-megan