Desire: One Woman's Story of Love

Chapter Twenty Five

Lana's POV:

I wished that I could take her pain away, the pain she was so clearly in but trying so hard to hide behind a smile. I knew she was dying inside. Was it the strangled cry I heard coming from the bathroom? The sound of running water barely masking the heart wrenching cry of my girlfriend's torture. The torture of having to relive that night over and over. The dreams were the worst. I felt like I was there, watching what that monster did to her, helpless in the shadows. I would happily switch places with her if it meant her suffering was no more.

How could someone do this to her? How could someone do this to anyone? They were all the same, heartless monsters, not capable of showing any kind of remorse. People like him.. people like Dr Thredson.. didn't deserve to walk the Earth. They deserved to die a horrible, torturous death at the hands of their victims. My monster was dead, rotting underneath the Earth. When I find out who did this to my girl, they would end up the same way.

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Reader's POV:

"Are you sure you're going to be ok whilst I'm gone?" Lana asked for what felt like the hundredth time this morning.

"Lana, I'll be fine.." I did my best to muster a reassuring smile even though 'fine' wasn't the right word to use. But I couldn't keep Lana away from her job forever, 4 weeks was more than enough. I'd gotten used to having her home, but it couldn't be that way forever.

"I don't have to go, I can cancel my meetings."

"Lana, you're going to work. I'll be fine, and if I'm not, I'll call you ok?"

She sighed softly and nodded her head but I could still tell she was reluctant to leave me. "I love you so much." She whispered, brushing her lips against my forehead. She then pulled back, brows knitted together in concern as the back of her hand came to rest against my forehead. "You have a temperature." She stated. "Are you sure you're ok?"

No, I was far from ok but Lana had done enough worrying about me. "Yes, I'm fine just a little warm is all." She still looked uncertain, regarding me for a moment.

"I won't be long and I'll have my phone on so please call me if you need anything." She embraced me in a hug as though she wasn't going to see me again, and I felt guilty for lying to her.. again. I hugged her that little bit tighter, because a few hours without Lana was bound to feel like forever.

After she left, my initial plan was to crawl back into bed, but in the past few weeks that's what I had become accustomed to, so instead I decided to take a shower and get dressed, which was a struggle with only one working hand. I also tried to keep myself busy and tidied around the apartment to take my mind off things. But then after that, I was lost again, listening to the overwhelming sound of silence; lost in my own thoughts, eyes beginning to drift closed.

I suddenly sat up on the sofa, clutching my chest. My heart was thudding so hard I feared it would burst through my skin. When did I fall asleep? That's apparently all I seemed to do now. I glanced over at the clock, I'd only been asleep for 20 minutes.

I just wanted things to go back to normal. I wanted to go back to work, but then I thought of seeing.. him. Just the thought made me want to throw up, which is exactly what I did, just about making it to the bathroom in time. I hadn't even left the house since I got back from the hospital, too scared I'd see Chris, someone that looked like him or just another male for that matter.

When would it be over? When would I become normal again? Maybe I should just bite the bullet and go back to work. Act as if everything was normal, and avoid Chris. If only it was that simple. Maybe I should go for a walk, get some fresh air or something. As much as I wanted to, I couldn't bring myself to go outside, not without Lana anyway. I debated ringing her but then thought better of it, she'd be home in a little while.

I was still exhausted, like my whole body was slowly shutting down. I dragged myself to the bedroom, catching a glimpse of myself in the mirror on the way. I looked like a zombie. A fragile, broken, vulnerable zombie. How could Lana still love me after this? I'd asked myself that same question everyday since it happened.

I collapsed onto the bed, pulling the covers tight around my body as I buried myself under the cocoon of blankets I'd created. My eyelids began to droop, but without Lana to wake me in the middle of a nightmare, I was terrified to go to sleep. I couldn't always rely on Lana, the last thing I wanted was to be a burden.

Maybe a couple sleeping pills would do the trick, and maybe, just maybe I'd finally have a nightmare free sleep. Or maybe I wouldn't wake up at all.

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Hey gays and gals! Another update for you all. My updates this week have been really slow so I apologise for that! This chapter is a little on the short side but I hope you like it. Anyway, please leave a comment and let me know what you think!
~T ♡~