Desire: One Woman's Story of Love

Chapter Twenty Six

TW ⚠️ Mentions of suicide. Also sorry in advance, please don't hate me. It will get better eventually, I promise. There's a reason for what I've done so just bare with me.
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Reader's POV:

"Y/n? Y/n, can you hear me?" My eyes flickered open, bright fluorescent lights greeting me as I squinted beneath them. My mouth opened and closed, producing groan like sounds but nothing coherent.

"It's ok y/n, you're in the hospital." The unfamiliar voice was slightly muffled but I managed to make out what was said, although my brain was foggy. Did she say I was in the hospital? I shook my head softly. No, I must have heard her wrong. I couldn't be in the hospital. The last thing I remember was going to sleep, in my own bed, in my own home.

"Lana?" My voice was quiet, raspier than usual, and then I felt a hand squeeze mine.

"I'm here darling." I craned my neck, following the sound of her voice. She was sat beside me, face pale, eyes red, cheeks blotchy with tears.

"What happened?" I croaked out, my throat drier than a dogs bone as I fixed my gaze pointedly at Lana, brows furrowing in confusion.

"You gave us quite a scare, y/n." The doctor cut in. My gaze travelled towards the doctor, a young lady who barely look qualified but before I could ask what had happened, she excused herself. My eyes drifted back to Lana, shooting her a questioning look.

The brunette wiped away more tears as she spoke. "Y/n, please tell me you didn't try to..?" The confused look on my face only increased, but I fully understood what the end of that sentence was as it hung in the air between us.

I needed confirmation that she was asking what I thought she was. "Try to what?" My voice was more audible now.

Her gaze drifted from mine, focusing on our entwined hands. "Did you try to take your own life?" Her voice was quiet now, barely above a whisper and I could tell she was terrified of what the answer would be, but she had gotten it all wrong, I wouldn't do that to her.

"No.." I looked at her, desperate for her to believe me. "I would never do that to you." Shaking my head softly I tugged on her hand a signal for her to look at me.

"Lana.." I pleaded, and then her eyes met mine, glazed over with tears, chewing on the inside of her cheek as if that would hold back the flood of tears that were only seconds away from falling.

"I promise you I didn't try to kill myself, I would never ever leave you like that." I paused, clearing my throat and pushing back my own tears. My brain was still hazy, struggling to piece together what happened to make Lana think I tried to commit suicide.

"The last thing I remember was going to bed.. and then I woke up here. I don't know what happened, why do you think I..?" I trailed off, and then Lana cleared her throat before relaying what had happened.

Lana kicked off her shoes and shrugged off her coat as she stepped into y/n's apartment, taking note of how pristine it looked. The smell of cleaning products tickled her nostrils and she smiled softly. She must be feeling better, she thought to herself, and then her smile faltered slightly. Or maybe looking for a distraction, of course Lana didn't blame her.

"Y/n, darling?" She called softly, checking the living room and then the kitchen for any sign of her girlfriend. "I brought you a sandwich home, I know you probably haven't eaten anything." She added. Seeing no sign of her, Lana headed towards y/n's bedroom, where as she suspected her girlfriend lay fast asleep, curled up in a ball, covers pulled tightly around her.