Desire: One Woman's Story of Love

Chapter Eighteen

Reader's POV:

Numb. That's all I felt once I awoke the next morning, wishing that last night was just a horrible dream. But every time I moved, pain radiated through me, a reminder of what happened, and my wrist was completely swollen, doubled in size, definitely broken.

But it wasn't the pain that bothered me, it was the flashbacks, the memory of that disgusting man on top of me, his horrible stale breathe on my face, the sounds he made as he ra- violated me. I couldn't even say the R word, not wanting it to be true.

I'd spent an hour in the shower last night, just sitting, crying, scrubbing myself raw. But no matter how much I scrubbed, he was still all over me. I can't remember much after that, I sort of just floated through time. I didn't sleep much, and when I did finally manage to drift off; my tears soaking the pillow, I had nightmares, nightmares of what was my reality.

I wanted Lana so bad, to hold me and tell me everything was going to be alright, but I couldn't let her see me like this. She had texted and called numerous times last night, but I hadn't answered, afraid that if I heard her voice, I would just burst into tears and tell her everything. I couldn't do that.

I rolled over in bed, momentarily forgetting about my wrist, rolling onto it. "Fuck!" I mumbled through clenched teeth, tears springing to my eyes. I should go to the hospital, but I can't bring myself to get out of bed.

I reached for my phone with my good hand and unlocked it. 11:32am the screen read. I was supposed to be at work at 9:00am. More missed calls and texts from Lana, she was bound to know something was wrong.

8:30am - "Hey darling, how're you feeling? Take the day off work. I love you. x"

Well, at least I didn't have to face work today.. and more importantly, at least I didn't have to see him.

8:45am - "Do you need anything? I can stop by before work? I love you. x"

9:15am - "Y/n? I'm starting to get a bit worried, I haven't heard from you since yesterday evening.. and you're not answering your phone. Please call me, I love you. x"

Tears started flowing down my already damp cheeks as I read through Lana's messages.

9:32am - "I'm heading into a meeting now, I'll call again when I'm done. Please answer, I love you. x"

10:45am - "Why aren't you answering? Are you ok? Have I done something? I love you. x"

Now a waterfall of tears were flowing freely down my cheeks. I should probably call her like I said I would. My finger hovered over the call button, but before I could press call, my phone started ringing. A picture I had taken of Lana, caught off guard at the beach as she gazed longingly across the ocean, flashing across the screen. I hesitated before I answered, I couldn't avoid her forever.

"Hey.." I answered, my voice slightly shaky as more tears fell silently down my face.

"Y/n, hi. Is everything ok? I've been so worried about you."

"Yeah.. I'm fine.." I lied, wiping my face with the sleeve of my sweater. "Sorry I haven't answered any of your calls or texts, I'm just not feeling very well." That wasn't a lie, I felt physically sick.

"Oh darling it's fine, I'm just glad you're ok. Do you need me to bring you anything?"

I just need you. "No it's ok, I'm ok, thank you." I shook my head even though she couldn't see me.

"Ok baby, well make sure you get lots of rest, drink plenty of water and try and eat something ok?" I nodded my head slowly, words caught in the back of my throat. "I'll finish up here as quick as I can and come over and-"

"No!" My voice was forceful as I choked back more sobs. "Sorry, I mean I just don't want to get you sick too, no good us both being ill." I tried to joke, forcing a quiet laugh.

"But I want to take care of you darling." I chewed on my lower lip trying to keep the tears at bay, because right now I needed her more than anything, but I.. I just couldn't.

"I'll be ok, think it's just a stomach bug or something." Not necessarily a lie.

I could feel her hesitate on the other end of the phone before she spoke. "Yeah, there must be a bug going around. Chris isn't in either." My heart began to race, hearing his name, my whole body began to shake as a light sheen of sweat coated my forehead. My lip quivered, fresh tears cascading down my cheeks. "Anyway, make sure you get lots of rest and please call me if you need anything. I love you."

It took me a couple of seconds to respond as I tried to compose myself, my stomach churning, afraid that if I spoke I would throw up. "I love you." It came out rushed and as soon as the line went dead, I ran to the bathroom and just about made it to the sink before I threw up the contents of my stomach; which was next to nothing. My legs were weak, not strong enough to hold me up, and I collapsed in a heap on the bathroom floor, in a never ending flood of tears.

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Hey gays and gals, so sorry for the wait and sorry that this chapter is shorter than usual, but it seemed like a good place to end it. Please let me know your thoughts in the comments. Things will get better, I promise.
~T ♡~