Growing Up

Part 12.

Sirius didn't talk to Remus for the rest of the day, and the next day after that.

Remus felt like rubbish, like an everlasting hangover of guilt.

He walked over to Harry's room to check on him when he saw Sirius, in the rocking chair, asleep with Harry on his chest.

"I didn't mean to lash out, Sirius. I know nothing happened, and it wasn't right for me to say the things i said. I know it hurt you, i'm sorry."

That sounded pretty good, but he wasn't very sure if he would accept it, though.

He walked out to the kitchen where Kreacher  stood near the window. His head barely reached over, Remus didn't know if he could even see the pavement.

"Kreacher?" he asked.

"Mr. Lupin." Kreacher turned.

"Remus. Just Remus is fine"

"Remus," He corrected himself "a cup of tea?" Kreacher asked, lifting an arm to try to reach the mugs.

Remus moved and grabbed the two mugs and set one in front of the elf.

"Ive got it." Remus smiled and took out his wand.

Kreacher flinched. He looked away, almost expecting a backhand or worse.

Remus slowly put his wand back into his pocket, looking puzzled, but he understood.

"Sorry, forgot." Remus' smiled faded.

Kreacher shrugged and walked away.

"Odd elf, that one." Remus thought to himself, holding his cup.

"Augumenti" Remus thought as the cup filled up with cool, clear water. He didn't need to say it out loud anymore. His wand knew what to do.

Remus didn't turn around when he heard the floor creak. Assuming it was Kreacher, he didn't expect to find out it was Sirius when he walked past him.

"Sirius," Remus whispered. "Can we talk?"

Sirius only looked up, expressionless. He got up from the chair and stood in front of Remus, maybe a foot away, looking elsewhere.

"Why would we? You seem to have everything figured out."

Remus opened his mouth to speak, but closed it again.

"I'm going on a walk. I'll be back." Sirius said toneless.

"Really? Can we just talk, please?" Remus twirled his fingers.

Sirius didn't say anything. He walked over to the door, opened it, turned into his Animagus and left.

"Always leaving, he is." a shaky voice beamed from behind him. "Ever since he was a child. He will be back, eventually." Kreacher finished.

Remus half-smiled at him, and walked away.

***

He sat in the armchair of his room, eyeing the hole in the wall he had made the night before.

"fuck. I have to do something about that."

He didn't move from the chair, just pointed his wand at it.

"Repairo"

The wall filled itself in.

He laid on his side of their bed, thinking about the worst.

"Well you told me 'i don't know why you stay' so i'm leaving, and taking harry. I'm sorry, Remus."

His lip started to quiver with fear. What would he do? Would everything go back to normal? Would Sirius actually leave? He wouldn't know what to do? With Lily and James gone, And then Sirius? Who would he have? God, what would he do?