Growing Up

Part 72

Months passed since Bellatrix had been by, and with each day it became more of a constant struggle to just exist. Regulus had mentioned that the reason for the tension was Harry. He was a Horcrux, and they had to live with the little information they had on what that exactly entailed. This was, of course, infuriating to Sirius. He and Remus often had quarrels, but to pit Harry as the unknown agitator made him disgusted with the thought. He was mortified that deep inside he almost resented him for it. This feeling would never surface, never even scratch the exterior of his short term thought, but the festering of it inside made him a dizzy sort of nauseous. Harry's eighth birthday had been celebrated with a few of his peers from school and it was like any other birthday. The only trick was he was still stuck on a pet.

Once after a sick day that Sirius and Harry had both taken, Remus had walked in and expected the worst. The manor not being burned to ashes at his feet was a start.

He jammed his keys into the door, sighing at the heavy physical and metaphorical weight on his shoulders from his heavy bag and long day. He went through a dozen keys until he found the right one as he always did, but he normally did so without being distracted. Tiny yaps from inside the house made him scramble faster to get in the door.

"She's so cute, I love her already." Harry's voice buzzed from the parlor.

Remus stopped in his tracks, throwing his keys on the table. He shuttered at the cracked glass mirror but continued anyway.

"If I find a woman in here, Sirius will have a lot of explaining to do."

"Hi, honey."  A dry chuckle came from the side of the couch. "Look what followed us home today."

A tiny white kitten wobbling on the floor caught his attention. Its blue eyes looked up and startled at him, backing away much like everything else in his life. It mewed frantically, its white paws sliding on the marble floor like silk on water.

"We found her on the other side of the fence," Sirius gestured outside with a tilt of his head. "Harry was practicing, he wants to be better than James was."
Remus watched him move closer and lean in, bursting with youth in a way he hadn't seen in a while. He kissed him and returned to watch the kitten venture blindly in its surroundings.

"I was against it at first," He grabbed his hand and led him over towards the kitten. "But look how cute!"

"She's afraid," Harry chimed in and began to mumble to the tiny cat. "Elle est si petite"

"Yeah, yeah," Sirius turned his head. "Va la cacher avant que Moony ne me tue"

"What about me hiding?" Remus asked, taking a seat on the couch, sinking into it with a shameless sigh of relief.

"Not you." Sirius did the same, exhaling through his nose. He sat further than expected, resting his head on the arm of the couch, but still swung his leg over to rest on Remus'.

"Bambi, pouvez-vous venir ici?" He summoned him. This was Sirius' way of teaching Harry. He had always spoken in french when he could, even at Remus' lack of understanding. Remus was familiar with latin and could discern a good chunk with enough context and his vast knowledge of roots and suffixes, but still watched in hardly noticeable awe at the two. They spoke almost full conversations when it was the two of them. Harry spoke french almost as fluently as he spoke english. At times he would get confused, as multilingual children do, and correct himself if he spoke french to Remus. Even more so, and profusely, he would apologize when he returned from the portrait room and spoke parseltongue.

Harry walked out carefully with the kitten in his arms, peering upward and back down.

"Go show Kreacher our new pet, he loves cats."

Harry complied with a smile, his pace speeding up to show off his newest trophy.

"'Our new pet?'" Remus questioned.

"Ha," Sirius chuckled. "Kreacher hates cats."

Sirius' eyes were glued to the stairwell where Harry had been like his spirit lingered and entangled itself with the railing. He took a breath and refocused.

"I've been thinking about Bellatrix." He said softly. His tone immediately changed like a light switch in a dark room. They didn't like to talk about cynical topics that could define Harry's life in front of him.

"Why? So you can give the cat to her?" Remus asked sarcastically, grabbing his old coffee mug from that morning to drink out of. He sipped the cold coffee, internally cringing at the grounds he could feel sticking to his teeth.

"She's working with Voldemort." Sirius was speaking his thoughts aloud at this point, chewing off a piece of rough skin on his middle finger. He stared blankly at the wall, a ragged and picturesque childhood memory of his stitching itself together in front of him. Bella had him by the hair, her skeletal hands tugging at each strand, sending a jolt of pain through each follicle. She dragged him across the living room and shouted her obscenities aloud as they crashed into walls and tables alike. Sirius' eyes followed his young ghost, dressed to high heaven in red, and could almost picture the blood dripping from his nose after Bellatrix smacked his face into the horizontal wall panelling. He clawed desperately at her, choking on gasps and the overflow of his reflex tears. He blocked the thought from his mind.

Remus watched his vacant gaze drift across the room and knew who he was thinking of, but couldn't recognize the specific memory. Remus resented his family, and any part of it that resided in Sirius. The man he knew and loved had no connection to such evil origins. Now that he thought about it, maybe he did. Perhaps it hadn't been clear to him until now, shrugging them off as personality quirks. Maybe it wasn't his family he had hated, it was just Sirius in the state he had been in. Maybe he almost blamed him. Was it his fault that he could draw out physical evil with just a last name?

"I know." Remus shook off the thought, disturbed.

"She's my family, and she's out to get me."

They didn't speak much after that.

***

Long after Harry had gone to bed, Sirius had gotten comfortable in the leather armchair with a bottle of wine. He had presumably gotten it from down in the cellar that normally wasn't touched by anyone but him. Remus noted that it was some kind of red, but not merlot. Sirius loathed sweet wines and hadn't liked them, in his words, "since he was a kid". The difference between merlot and any other kind was foreign to him. Wine wasn't his drink of choice.

"Bottles now?"

"Yep." He replied dryly.

"Jesus, that bottle is worth my kidney," Remus spat, tilting up the base of the glass. That wasn't even in galleons, he had seen the price on a newspaper and avoided translating it.

"So?" He asked carelessly, his eyes tracking the progress he had made.

Sighing, Remus went to pour himself a glass of whatever liquor he could find, as he wasn't so concerned with the price tag on his. He shuddered at the blatant waste on many accords. Who bought a bottle that expensive? Who would feel comfortable drinking a bottle worth enough that it could buy a car?

"Are you alright?" Remus couldn't help but feel annoyed, petulance tugging at his words. He didn't want to face him in case Sirius, who had gotten quite familiar with the few expressions Remus had; would catch hints of his irritation.

"Fine." Sirius responded, taking another drink. His lips molded perfectly against the opening of the bottle. "I'm going to see Harry."

He was halfway across the parlor when he stopped, the bottle dropping to his side. Remus almost stopped him, fearing that his drunken demeanor would upset Harry and create an entirely new situation that would require both of them to put down their bottles.

Sirius sighed and turned his head halfway, not meeting his gaze.
"The cat's name is Athena, by the way."

He vanished into the blue room and shut the door.

Word count: 1410