Growing Up

Part 20.

Remus curled up into a ball in the corner of the cold shed, waiting for the time to pass. He could feel the new gash on his face drip from his forehead into his eyes, his bones felt like jelly and his head pounded with each thump of his slowly beating heart. At least every three minutes he would consider breaking this position to throw up somewhere away from him, but it was never needed.

He did vaguely remember Sirius pushing his way into the shack. He walked towards the wolf slowly, his head bowed as any smaller animal would do to this beast. In an odd, feverish way, Remus remembered a part of him longing to lay down next to the shaggy dog, to feel the cool tile against his face. Instead, much to his anger, he snarled at him. This growl reverberated like an echoing warning. The night on a playback loop, Remus also remembered feeling increasingly angry about this expression.

Sirius jumped and stared to shy away, his paws backing away slowly and skipping across the ground with the gritty sound of his nails engraving marks into the shack. He now bowed to the floor in an attempt to show he was no threat. After years of taming this particular problem, Sirius had found loopholes in the animal's behavior.

He walked towards the wolf again, fearfully ignoring the bubbling snarls. Sirius remembered a few times where this move was unsuccessful and cringed internally. Once he reached him, he put his face against Remus'. He could hear Sirius' fluttering heartbeat, nervously beating against his chest.

At sunrise Sirius had peered through the door, looking towards the blanket in the corner. Peeking out of the black fabric was plaid pajama pants.

***
Remus opened the sliding glass door of the house to see kreacher with two cups of coffee and two plates. His decrepit feet were hanging off the chair childishly as he read the newspaper. He spoke without looking up.

"Bad night, Lupin?" he croaked.

"Yeah, guess so." He shrugged, wiping off his face. He reached for the cup and the small pastry on the tea plate, eating it in one bite. The immediate relief flushed his face with a rosy pink.

"Well, there's more Wolfsbane in the cabinet for next month when you need it." Kreacher said calmly, turning the page of his newspaper.

Remus quit chewing as if to hear what Kreacher had said more clearly. Wolfsbane?

"Thanks," He said flatly as he walked toward his bedroom door. Sirius was sleeping peacefully, his arms stretched outwards and his legs over towards Remus' side. His mouth hung open slightly where soft snores escaped it every other moment. Watching this scene, he felt even better about what his plan was.

"Good morning, darling!" Remus kicked the side of the bed with brute force that pained him more that he thought it would. The pain in his hip shot up his spine at once with a sickening reverberation through his body.

Sirius jumped awake and looked at him with bleary, worried eyes.

"What?" He shot up in bed, his arms behind him acting as a foundation to keep him up.
"Oh, are you okay?"

"Yeah, just fine!" He uttered sarcastically with a tormented grin. His bones held a weight that was nearly excruciating.

"I'd probably be better if I had the Wolfsbane in your medicine cabinet."

"We have wolfsbane?"

"You didn't know?"

"Why would I know that?"

"Because this is your house?"

"It's not like I use it." Sirius finally got out of bed and grabbed his wand, holding it menacingly it to Remus' forehead.

"I didn't know, I'm sorry. Let me see-"

"Ah- I'd rather you not." Remus pushed the wand back with his finger, raising his eyebrows.
"I can't let you maim me more than I already am."

"Fair enough," He put his wand back on the table and hurried to the bathroom, opening drawers and clumsily throwing things out onto the counter. He spoke quietly to himself and counted what he had.

"Sit," His voice lingered from the bathroom.

"You had to do this a lot as a kid, no?" Remus picked at the skin around his fingers, nervous about the question. He walked towards the bathroom with his head down. If it were up to him, there would be no dim lightbulb in the bathroom. Sirius despised this "unnecessary" habit, but it was the only way Remus could stand to be in front of a mirror. He sat on the marbled sink away from it, wincing from the pain in his left hip. He leaned to his other side.

Sirius paused, trying to grab hold of an answer to a question he wasn't expecting.
"Yeah. Either me or Reggie. We didn't have wands, and mother didn't help. Kreacher is truly the best at this."

He came back out with a wet towel and antibacterial wipes, redirecting Remus' wincing face from the burn.

"This was always a beautiful house, but it was never my home." He whispered.

That sentence struck Remus with a shock of sadness that traveled up his spine. He thought back to their first home, the Potter's. In his distant memory, he could hear the rain patter outside of the front door from the cozy parlor.

Sirius shook his head as if they stood in the same painful memory. Locking eyes to confirm that they were, he held the towel up to a different wound. He would check to see if the bleeding had stopped, but it often didn't.

"Hold this."

"What would I do without you?" Remus whispered.

Sirius smiled lovingly and shrugged.
"Bleed out, maybe?"

Remus watched him wander around the bathroom as he searched for a different piece of medical equipment. He started to improvise what he would do if he was without Sirius. What would he do if he lost him? Pictures of Remus' reaction to this scenario flashed in his mind. How would it happen? He wasn't allowed to know. Remus' brain illustrated him crying out for the loss of his lover, sobbing into the leather jacket that still smelled like him.

"You alright, Moons?"

Remus nodded slightly, a forced smile from the depths of his worst nightmare spreading on his face.
"Just thinking."

Sirius wrapped the last bandage around his wrist, covering the warped canine marks and apologizing.

"You did what you had to." Remus looked down and wrapped his other hand around it to soothe the burn.

"Hey," Sirius reached for his good hand.
"It's sunrise. You know what day it is today?"

"Harry's Birthday." Remus grinned.

Word count: 1102