Queens, New York
27th
-
Onika's Pov
-
I didn't believe in romance, I believe in lust. I don't believe people actually cared for you, I believe that everyone has a motive and only cares when it's beneficial to them.
"Your mother will be attending the engagement party this coming Friday" I zone back in listening as my father speaks.
I just nod without uttering a word and begin walking off, he grab my arm before I could've gotten away, his eyes lowered as his grip on my arm tightened "Don't think she's coming because she wants to be apart of her daughter's biggest moment, she's coming because I payed her to attend" He says.
"I didn't expect anything better" I spoke honestly. I pull his hand off me as I walk out the door.
I would be lying if I said I wasn't hurt that my mother had to be payed to be apart of my life. I don't know who fucked my life up more, her or pops. All I know that they've both failed me as a parent.
I didn't feel like driving. I wanted to walk to gather the remaining sane that's left in my mind. As I walk down my neighborhood that's impacted by more rich assholes that lets money take control of them, I wonder if it will all be worth it when the big guy calls them home?
I continue walking just letting my feet carry me wherever they wanted, I payed little to no attention at my surroundings, I was too occupied being in my head.
I hated this, I hate feeling this way. I hate feeling like I'm not in control of my life, I needed an escape, a high. I couldn't face these challenges with a sober mind, It's quite impossible.
I look for the nearest bar but as you already know that my luck doesn't exists, every single bar was closed. I look up into the sky wondering what the big guy plans were.
I mean it is 6:45 in the morning Nicki, did you really think bars will be open?
I sigh, Placing my hands in my front pocket, I felt an object, I pull it out revealing the pills.
I wasn't suffering from an anxiety attack but I remembered how good the pill made me feel, how relaxed I was. I remembered the euphoria that came with upping the dosage and I wanted to feel that way again.
I walk into the nearest store and bought a bottle of water, after purchasing I took the cap off and place three pills in my hand, swallowing it down with a mouthful of water.
I continue walking waiting for the drugs to takes it affects.
"Onika?" I chuckle feeling my chest start to tighten but it wasn't from an anxiety attack, it was from the angelic voice.
I turn around with my hands still in my front pockets, I look at the woman that stood in front of me with a trench coat and heels, she looks so fucking fine right now.
"Beyoncé" I let my eyes linger on her outfit a bit more, I don't care that she knows I am openly checking her out.
"What are you doing out so early?" She asks.
"I can be asking you the same" I finally realized the coffee cup in her hand.
She shook it letting me know that's the reason for coming out her house so early "Now are you going to tell me the reason your eyes are so low that it almost looks like you're sleeping walking?" She asks stepping close to me.
I immediately smelt her sweet intoxicating scent. "I'm just sleepy" I lied, I am completely high right now. I didn't need Beyoncè worrying about me or my problems, they were already too much for me to bare, lord knows I didn't want anyone else to carry it, they didn't deserve that, especially Beyoncè.
